In my last Substack post, I shared a deep dive on how I ran a 30-person beta reader team for my first self-published book with a 70% manuscript completion rate. After traditionally publishing four books, I can honestly say this has been one of the most fulfilling and rewarding parts of my entire publishing journey so far.

But the process of running a big beta team can seem really overwhelming. Yes, it takes a lot of work, but in my experience it’s so worth it. I now have a stronger book (IMO!), a stamp of approval from my target audience, and fodder for promotional posts—plus, I rewarded my most loyal readers by welcoming them into my writing process. Seeing their gleeful replies to my emails has been INCREDIBLE. Just, lots of joy all around.

So to help make this process easier for any fellow authors who want to try this out, today I’m sharing the assets I created to run my team:

1. Application

2. Critique guidance

3. Final questionnaire

4. Welcome email

5. Follow-up email

6. Final reminder email

Keep in mind that these are not templates. I don’t recommend copy/pasting everything I did—for example, my emails are super casual and conversational, and your emails should be in your own unique voice! But I hope this will provide inspiration and a starting point for building a team of your own.

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… authors have been asking what platform I used to collect feedback. The answer is StoryOrigin, and today I’m sharing a deep-dive on how I recruited my team of 30 beta readers, gathered their feedback in StoryOrigin, and synthesized it to make this story shine.

A caveat before we begin: While this ended up being my absolute favorite part of my publishing journey so far, I don’t want any authors to feel pressure to do this, and I’m not saying you should. You might even think getting 30 beta readers is overkill, and that’s okay—to each their own. I’m just sharing my process in case it’s helpful or inspiring in any way.

Since my full writeup is too long for one Substack post, this will be split in three parts:

1. Revealing my process (this post) - for all subscribers/viewers

2. Sharing my assets (application, critique guidance, and emails) - for VIP subscribers

3. A review of StoryOrigin’s Beta Reader tool - for all subscribers/viewers

Why I wanted a big beta reader team

Before I ever got published, I got beta readers for my first three manuscripts—the third of which became All Your Twisted Secrets. Back then, I used the terms beta readers and critical partners (CPs) interchangeably—they were fellow authors I’d swap manuscripts with to exchange feedback. (Was that wrong? Have the terms evolved? Don’t know!)

After debuting, I sold my next three books on proposal and had tight deadlines to draft, with no extra time to recruit betas, wait for feedback, and reciprocate on top of my heavy workload. While my editor (and sometimes editorial assistant) provided excellent input, we’d miss things! Later, I’d see reader reviews criticizing a character’s decision or a cheesy line, and I’d facepalm so hard because I agreed and it would have been so easy to fix if I’d gotten that feedback sooner… but it was too late. Some authors’ ARCs get printed pre-copyedits, but that’s never been the case for me.

Because of this, I always wished publishers had focus groups or test audiences to get readers’ reactions to a book pre-ARCs. But that’s just… not a thing. (That I’m aware of.)

Now that I’m self-publishing for the first time with my newest book—You’re Overthinking This, a steamy psychological thriller—I’m in control of my publishing schedule. Now, I could make time for a test audience. I wanted at least 20 readers so if enough independently commented on the same issue, I’d know it needed fixing. I was also worried only a small percentage would reach the end—a combination of impostor syndrome and the fact that these are volunteers—so I wanted to recruit enough to account for that.

(Note that I’ve also heard of some indie authors getting 70+ or even hundreds of beta readers, but I think my brain would simply implode. 30 was a sweet spot for me!)

Why I used StoryOrigin to collect feedback

When I first set out to build a team of betas, I was overwhelmed. Sending my shiny new manuscript as a Word doc or PDF to 20+ people seemed daunting and unsecure. Some authors recommended I use Google docs and disable downloading/copying, but I worried that (1) if all readers had access to the same doc, they’d bias each other or debates would break out in the comments, or (2) if everyone had their own doc, organizing, naming, and collating feedback would be a nightmare.

Then I learned about StoryOrigin in the Discord Indie Authors Ascending (thanks, Ariel!).

StoryOrigin is similar to BookFunnel in that it lets you distribute ARCs and reader magnets (among other features), but it also has a unique tool for collecting beta reader feedback. You can see its features here, but here’s what convinced me to use it:

• Secure manuscript sharing. Readers can’t download it or even access all of it at once.

• Ensure participation. Readers must leave feedback on each chapter to unlock the next one. They don’t just get a free read; they have to earn it!

• Get detailed feedback. In addition to overall chapter feedback, readers can highlight text to leave in-line comments, and you can mark the status of each.

• Iterate on the fly. You can see readers’ feedback as they progress through the manuscript, not just when they finish. Concurrently, you can upload new versions of each chapter. New readers to that chapter will see the newest version automatically, and your fastest readers can go back to look at your updates if they’d like.

• Limit (or extend) access. Set an expiration date to revoke access at your deadline and/or offer extensions (or revoke access) for each individual reader.

While not a perfect tool (I’ll share more in Part 3), StoryOrigin made this process far less overwhelming than it could’ve been and helped create a fun and unique experience for my team. And I love that for all of us!

How I set up my beta reader team

Note that my approach is a bit more complex than necessary. For example, you can use StoryOrigin for your entire application process (though you only get one text box) and you don’t need to require readers to sign an NDA. Again, just sharing what I did in case it helps!

(And I’ll share the copy I used for each of these in Part 2.)

1. Created a Google form application

Rather than hosting my application in StoryOrigin, I used Google Forms for more field customization, to ask multiple questions, to track invites for each wave of readers, and to email my betas using my own email service provider (ESP) whenever I wanted.

I’ll share all the questions I asked in Part 2, but the most important question that let me qualify readers was: “Why do you want to beta read You’re Overthinking This?” If anyone left this blank or clearly (and I mean clearly) used ChatGPT to fill this out, they did not receive an invitation.

2. Created an NDA

I chose to have my beta readers sign an NDA for a few reasons:

1. It reduces the risk of piracy, anyone feeding my manuscript to the Machines, or anyone sharing excerpts from this early version of the manuscript.

2. It weeds out anyone who’s not enthusiastic or committed enough to sign.

3. It makes it clear this is a volunteer opportunity.

My NDA was extremely basic, and I created a simple Google form to collect electronic signatures. Out of all my applicants, only one said they’d be unwilling to sign. (I’ll make sure they get an ARC!)

3. Added the manuscript to StoryOrigin

This process is fairly straightforward, but in order for StoryOrigin to break out chapters into different sections readers will need to unlock in one easy upload, you need to use Header 1 (H1) tags in Word for each of your chapter headers.

After uploading, you can customize all the basic info for your project—tags (genres), blurb, etc.—but two fields are especially important: application message and critique guidance.

In my application message, I linked to my NDA and instructed readers to simply enter “Yes” in the box once they signed. This is how they request access to the manuscript once you give them the link and they create a StoryOrigin account.

In my critique guidance, I entered the same guidelines I shared in my welcome email. Whatever you enter here will appear at the bottom of every chapter to remind readers what kind of feedback you’re looking for.

I also created a questionnaire at the end of the manuscript with a few wrap-up questions. I did not ask specific questions on individual chapters nor sprinkle questionnaires throughout the manuscript (between chapters), but you could if you’d like.

4. Created a welcome email

Next, in my ESP, I created an email to send to my list of approved beta readers. In this email, I:

• Congratulated them for being selected (woohoo!)

• Linked to the manuscript in StoryOrigin

• Provided instructions for joining StoryOrigin

• Linked to the NDA

• Provided instructions for requesting the manuscript after signing

• Gave a clear bolded deadline

• Shared my critique guidance, which outlined my expectations along with a list of seven questions to keep in mind as betas read the manuscript (this is what I copy/pasted in the critique guidance box in Story Origin)

• Expressed my heartfelt gratitude for their time

I’ve shared this email and my critique guidance in Part 2.

5. Created a private Discord channel for betas

In my Discord server, Diana Urban’s Thrill Seekers, I created (1) a private channel #beta-readers and (2) the role “Beta Reader” to grant that role access to this channel. Then I spun up a custom invitation link that would assign this role to anyone who used it.

I shared this link with betas (1) in the closing questionnaire in StoryOrigin and (2) via email about two weeks after granting wave #1 access to the manuscript. I didn’t want them to influence each other’s opinions while reading, and we were careful to use spoiler tags until the deadline.

(If you enjoy my books and would like to join my Discord, subscribe to my reader newsletter to get an invitation link!)

How I recruited beta readers

My process for recruiting betas was very agile, which might make this section a bit confusing. Rather than waiting for all my betas to finish to make edits, I kept pace with my fastest betas and uploaded new versions of each chapter to StoryOrigin. This way, slower betas would read V2, and I could get their reactions and confirm my changes worked. (Some betas kept apologizing to me for being slow and I was like NO THIS IS PERFECT!!)

I wound up inviting three waves of betas within a 4-week span (for a total of 30 readers). It was a lot to manage, but this agile process saved me months of time.

Okay, so here’s how I recruited folks. (Keep in mind that I’ve been publishing since 2020, so I’m fortunate to have a readership that made it easier to recruit folks. YMMV.)

Volunteering to beta read is a big commitment, so I wanted to only (1) attract applicants dedicated enough to reach the end of the manuscript, and (2) reward my superfans who’d be HYPED to read and be part of this story’s journey. Providing feedback without compensation is a big ask, so I wanted to make sure whoever volunteered was really into it and would have fun.

As such, I was extremely deliberate with my recruitment posts; I wasn’t going for volume, but quality enthusiasm. I didn’t even call for betas in a dedicated email on Substack or my reader newsletter. (I know this made some folks feel like they missed out, and I’M SO SORRY, but don’t worry—I’ll be running a huge ARC team, so stay tuned!)

First, I posted about it here on Substack as a single bullet point in this post. 50% of wave #1 applicants came from this.

Next, I posted a call for betas to my Instagram stories asking anyone interested to DM me, and I DMed back a link to a Google form. After about an hour, I had enough applicants, so I deleted the story. (I didn’t save it, so I don’t have a screenshot to share—sorry!)

After I sent out invitations, betas started tearing through the manuscript. I made edits to the early chapters based on their feedback and uploaded new versions to StoryOrigin, but since that first wave of readers was so enthusiastic, most got through the beginning fast. I wanted more fresh eyes on my changes, so I did another call for betas on Threads and replied to anyone interested with a link to the form.

After inviting my wave #2 betas, I intended to keep up with my wave #1 betas so wave #2 would always be reading updated chapters.

Then my cat died.

So. Yeah. I was a useless, sobbing mess for a week.

After I finally jumped back into edits 9-10 days later, I recruited wave #3 betas to get fresh eyes on the middle chapters, since I hadn’t kept ahead of most of wave #2. That time, I posted to Instagram stories and Threads at once, and deleted those posts after a couple of hours. (So no screenshots, sorry!)

How I synthesized beta feedback

Thanks to my critique guidance—plus, I think, because I’m so casual with readers in my Discord, on Threads, etc., with lots of AHHHHHs and general silliness 🤪—I invited some incredibly blunt feedback. And that’s exactly what I wanted. I wanted my betas to be ruthless with me so I could improve the work and avoid as much public evisceration (on Goodreads, TikTok, etc.) as possible.

(Though, who am I kidding? It’s a psychological thriller, and it’s got polarizing twists. There’s really no avoiding it lmao.)

I won’t say their feedback was always easy to take. With four published novels under my belt, I have a weird mix of impostor syndrome and thick skin. But for the most part, it felt like I had 30 buddies sitting with me as I made edits, laughing with me, screaming with me—sometimes at me—and encouraging me to make this the best story I could. Some folks even read it twice. Others read specific chapters multiple times when I pinged the group about updates I made via email and on Discord (about two-thirds of betas joined the private channel).

If I had to guesstimate, I’d say I took action on about ~75% of readers’ critical notes in StoryOrigin, not including times they pointed out typos, missing words, awkward phrasing, etc.—those I fixed 100% of the time.

Sometimes I felt bullish about wanting to keep something as-is, but once a third reader critiqued the thing, I considered that a consensus and conceded. This is one reason StoryOrigin is great for keeping everyone in separate silos, and why I didn’t hand out that Discord invite link until later. Getting the same critiques independently was invaluable.

I didn’t always take readers suggestions on how to fix something, just like I wouldn’t if it were my editor at a publishing house. Instead, I looked for the root cause of the critique, and often found a different way to address it.

There were plenty of contradictory comments, too. I’d giggle every time one person highlighted a sentence and called it “beautiful” while another called the same exact sentence “cringey.” It was a reminder that the art of storytelling is incredibly subjective.

That’s why I didn’t address ~25% of the critiques. As a people pleaser, this was tough. I had to constantly remind myself that we were 31 different humans with 31 sets of opinions and preferences. You can’t please 100% of your audience 100% of the time. For example, one reader wanted an entirely different whodunnit. Another wanted the FMC and LI to spend 2-3 days together before the inciting incident. But those would be different books altogether. Ultimately, it’s up to me to tell the story I want to tell.

For the changes I did make, it was incredibly gratifying to upload a new version of a chapter and see the next wave of readers pass by with no comment or just compliments. Ahh. Mission complete. Here’s a zoomed out view of the Word doc showing all the edits I made thanks to beta reader feedback.

My beta reader team stats

• 48 applicants

• 36 people invited to read

• 30 betas made meaningful progress (9+ chapters)

• 21 betas finished the manuscript

Of the six invited who didn’t become betas, two didn’t sign up for StoryOrigin, two did but didn’t open the manuscript at all, and two didn’t make it past chapter two.

Of the nine who made meaningful progress but didn’t finish, there was no consistent dropoff point. Several emailed along the way to let me know life happened, whether they lost a job, started a job, got sick, lost a loved one. As someone who lost their soul fur-baby in the middle of all this, goodness, I related.

Regardless, all 30 of my betas were instrumental in making this story sparkle, and I’m grateful and humbled they took the time out of their busy lives to help me. They’ll all be included in the acknowledgements, be auto-approved for my ARC team, and receive any exclusive bonuses first. They’ll also get a special gift from me closer to launch but IT’S A SURPRISE SO SHHHHHH.

What’s next?

Now that I’ve sent this manuscript off to my copyeditor, it’s time to hunker down for a bit to draft my next contracted YA book. Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3 of this series, and remember to subscribe so you get those newsletters right to your inbox. I hope this was helpful!

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In some ways, 2026 is already flying by, but personally, it’s been so chaotic, it’s hard to believe it’s only mid-March. Let’s sum things up with some bullet points:

• January - February: heavily revised You’re Overthinking This, my adult self-publishing debut, a steamy psychological thriller.

• January: came up with a new YA thriller idea. Wrote the first three chapters and a bulleted synopsis.

• February: SOLD that YA thriller to a new-to-me publisher in an exclusive submission.

• February: wrapped up Reedsy client work (I’ll be taking a hiatus to write the YA).

• Last week of February: went on a tropical vacation.

• Last day of vacation: my husband’s grandmother passed away.

• March 3-7: sent You’re Overthinking This to two rounds of beta readers.

• March 9: our cat passed away.

• March 9 - 14: sobbed, mostly.

• March 15: put You’re Overthinking This up for preorder to force myself to stop wallowing.

SO, YEAH.

On top of all that, I promised you I’d share my self-publishing journey here on Substack as I go through the process for the first time with You’re Overthinking This. And since I’m still too mopey to make progress on my fiction work… let’s do this! I hope this helps any authors out there starting their own self-pub journey.

(Sorry if any of this is hard to follow. I miss my cat and my brain is mush.)

Step 1: Revised, revised, revised

My first step was to make this book as strong as I possibly could. I want this book to blow up in a big way (don’t we all??? lmao) and the best way to do that is to create a book readers simply have to tell their friends about.

I hadn’t touched this manuscript since May 2025, and coming back to it after 7-8 months was wildly helpful. I hacksawed my darlings, massively amped up the tension (both the scary and sexual kinds), intensified the twists and added a new one I’m OBSESSED with, and smoothed out FMC’s logic when solving the mystery, which required rewriting key scenes altogether.

As I revised, in parallel I worked on steps 2-6 below.

Step 2: Shored up my newsletter

It’s taken me years to solidify my newsletter strategy because most of my subscribers have been fellow authors, not readers. As a BookBub veteran and now book marketing coach, it’s basically hardwired into my DNA to share everything I know about publishing and book promo at all times. So for years, I mostly spoke to authors about publishing in my newsletters—but they’re not my fiction target audience.

In December 2024, I took the first step to split my mailing list in two—one for readers, one for authors—by moving everyone from my primary email setup (HubSpot/Wordpress1) to my new SubStack. I knew authors comprised at least 90% of my list, so it was easier to export/import everyone here at once.

Then in Dec 2025 - Jan 2026, I rebuilt everything in HubSpot/Wordpress—my forms, landing pages, double opt-in flow, welcome emails, initiation sequence (via automation), and newsletter template. Then I did Step 3 to get the readers back over to HubSpot/Wordpress. No importing/exporting this time—it’s up to readers to self-identify and opt into my reader-focused newsletter.

Step 3: Published a reader magnet

To make it more enticing for folks to sign up to my reader-focused newsletter, I revised a short story I originally published in an anthology but had the rights reverted back to me. I’d give this to readers for free in exchange for subscribing.

To segue into my adult romantic thriller brand, I aged up the characters, made it steamier, and rewrote much of it to improve it in general. Once I was happy with the story, I used Canva to design its cover, used Vellum to format the interior, and set it up on BookFunnel for easy reader magnet delivery. Then I created promotional graphics in Canva and published this Substack newsletter to inform everyone of the great newsletter split, encouraging readers to subscribe here. (If you haven’t yet, I’m reminding you now. How sneaky of me.)

At that point, it was clear I was right about that 90/10 split. But over the next month, the FUN thing was seeing my reader-focused automation emails increase from 20-30% open rates back in 2024 to 50-65% now, not including the welcome email (post double-opt-in), with a 80% open rate. Woohoo!

Step 4: Redesigned my website

Honestly, I spent too much time on this and some of it probably wasn’t necessary, but I enjoy fiddling with my website. Here are some of the key changes:

• Updated my branding and design throughout. Aimed for simplicity and consistency, and made all pages mobile-optimized, which was long overdue. Now it’ll be easier to update.

• Created a book page for You’re Overthinking This.

• Created a short story page for The Last Time I Saw Her Alive.

• Updated my Books page with these two new stories.

• Created a new newsletter subscription page and confirmation page to improve double opt-in conversion rates.2

• Redesigned my “Link in Bio” page (instead of using Linktree).

• Created an ARC team signup page that I’ll swap for the official Google form signup sheet later, and I’ll email everyone who’s filled out this form first.

Step 5: Designed my book cover

Over a year ago, I got lucky and found the perfect photo on DepositPhotos for my FMC and MMC. I licensed it immediately, and ever since, I envisioned exactly what I wanted my cover to look like using that photo. I considered hiring a cover designer, but in case you haven’t noticed, I love having control over all the things. I wanted full access to the layered file and permission to tweak it whenever and however I wanted. So I decided to design it myself.

Thanks to my experience with Photoshop, I was able to do so, and the process was so much fun—I can’t wait to show it to you. I’ll have to edit the design once I know the book’s exact dimensions, as I won’t know the spine width until post-copyedits, but I’m THRILLED with how it’s turned out so far.

Step 6: Commissioned a character artist

While I’m familiar enough with Photoshop to photobash and edit stock photos, illustrating characters and graphics from scratch goes way beyond my skillset. Commissioning character art is less common for thrillers than for fantasy and romance, but since You’re Overthinking This is a very romantic and steamy thriller, I wanted character art to help with promo. And since many artists book up months in advance, I wanted to get a head start.

But again, I got lucky. One day, at the top of my Threads feed, an artist had posted that she was opening up to commissions for the first time. I loved her work and reached out via DM, compiled a creative brief (I knew exactly what I wanted the scene to look like), and long story short, I hired her. And she absolutely nailed it. Now I have a marketing asset ready to go, and she’ll also be designing a piece for my upcoming YA thriller. Yay! I can’t wait to share this, too.

Step 7: Recruited beta readers

Once I finished revising You’re Overthinking This, I felt the manuscript was sharp enough to do without a developmental editor; it already went through the wringer with my agent in 2025 and in publishers’ acquisitions meetings, and that was before my big overhaul. Still, I wanted more eyes on this latest revision before sending it to my copyeditor.

In my years of traditional publishing, I always wished I could get a focus group / test audience to read ahead of ARCs. My editors have been great, but they’re just one person—sometimes two, if they had an assistant—and I’d often see reviews consistently call out an issue I absolutely would have fixed if I knew about it when I had the chance.

This is where beta readers come in handy! On the trad side, I always thought of betas and CPs interchangeably—fellow authors I’d swap manuscripts with to provide each other edit letters and markup in a Word doc. As I got deeper into trad pub, I no longer had the time (deadline-wise) or bandwidth (to swap manuscripts) to involve CPs/betas any more.

But on the indie side, beta reader teams are often exactly like those test audiences I always craved, and now I’m in control of my own deadlines. YAY! Every author is different, of course, and has different expectations of their betas, but I’ve asked mine to be like a test audience and react to things without providing in-depth editorial assessments, which seems like a common approach.

Ultimately, I recruited a team of 25 readers and gave them about three weeks to read.3 Everyone’s going at their own pace, and it’s been a joy to see them finish the book (one reader read in 24 hours, another in 48, which wildly impressed me—I’m such a slow reader myself!), and their feedback has already been so helpful. They still have over a week to finish, and then I’ll do one more round of revisions before sending it to my copyeditor.

Step 8: Bartered for a copyeditor

I fully intended to hire one, but one day I hopped on Threads and asked if any experienced copyeditors who are also authors would be willing to barter for the marketing services I provide on Reedsy. Two minutes later, I had several responses, and I’m so excited about who I’ll be bartering with! I’ll send her my manuscript in April, and while she edits, I’ll build her marketing plan. It’s a win win win!

Full transparency, again, I got lucky here. I cannot emphasize enough how much of publishing—both on the trad and indie side—hinges on luck. In this case it was a combination of algorithmic luck and my background in book marketing, but still. LUCK HELPED.

Step 9: Created announcement and teaser graphics

Now that the cover’s pretty much ready to go, I used BookBrush and Canva to create a placeholder cover to use on Amazon, my website, and early promotional graphics.

Here’s an example promotional graphic—you can see the whole carousel on Instagram.

I have more ready to go, and here I should note how helpful upgrading to Canva Pro has been. As a Photoshop girlie, I resisted for a long time, but now I have my Brand Kit set up with my frequently used fonts and colors, easy-to-use editing features, and access to loads of stock vectors, images, and videos. You need to be careful if you want to avoid AI—it’s getting real hard to tell the difference—so for the stock photos I plan to use regularly (like this one above with the deer), I’m still licensing them through DepositPhotos.

Step 10: Put the book up for preorder

Once a few beta readers finished the book and were all-caps screaming at me how much they loved it, I mustered enough confidence to finally pick a release date so I could put the book up on Amazon for preorder.

But then my cat decided to become an ex-cat. To be no more. To cease to be.

I’m diffusing this with Monty Python humor when I’m actually a devastated wreck; last week was the hardest week of my life. So I put off the preorder until yesterday, when my tear ducts simply ran out of liquid and I decided it’s time for life to keep lifing.

It was a nice distraction to do the work I usually do for clients for my own book—the metadata research to find the right categories and keywords, optimizing the subtitle, and so forth. I set the publication date for November 19th for a few reasons:

• It’s a snowbound thriller, so launching it before winter for heavy promotion over the holidays and snowy season in the US and Canada seems like perfect timing.

• Thursday because of the responses I got to this Thread—most indie authors seem to prefer publishing on Thursday or Friday as to not conflict with trad releases on Tuesdays and to be closer to payday, so let’s put that to the test!

• It’s probably further out than I need it to be, but will give me enough buffer for all the promotions I want to prepare while also on deadline for my next YA thriller (with a deadline of September 1 for the first draft).

• It’s four days after my birthday and I figure it’ll be a fun way to celebrate!

Step 11: Screamed about the preorder

When I submitted the book on Amazon, the confirmation message made me think I had three days before I’d make any announcements.

Friends, it did not take 72 hours. It took one hour. And then there it was—my first self-published book, up for preorder on Amazon. Naturally, because I’m an extremely silly person who can’t keep a secret to save my life, I immediately screamed about it on Threads.

It’s way too early to tell anything, but so far, this all-caps, off-the-cuff post vastly outperformed my carefully curated announcements earlier today, which included an email to my reader list, an Instagram post, and a Threads post. A WIN FOR CHAOS!

Step who even knows?

Honestly, there’s even more I haven’t included above that exist simply from being in this game for 10+ years now. Like my Discord community, which has been more active so far this year (yay!), and this Substack, which yes, is primarily for authors, but I’ve absolutely plugged You’re Overthinking This here and several of my beta readers came directly from here. It would take a book in itself to include everything I’m doing all the time, but I hope pulling out these highlights will help anyone else starting on their own self-publishing journey.

Some thoughts on moving forward

Now that I’ve built my foundation, most of my plan revolves around having fun and genuinely connecting with readers. That’s what it’s all about. I plan to send as many ARCs as I possibly can, invite readers to my mailing list (where my emails are now more personal) and Discord (where we can squee together), and be my chaotic self on Threads.

One thing about me that has to change: I can’t be a perfectionist anymore, especially when it comes to promo Between writing an entire book on contract by September and prepping another for self-pub in November, I must be expedient. I even time-boxed this post; I started writing it on 3/16 at 12:30pm with a goal of getting it out by EOD, and somehow, I’ve managed it. It shows in its wordiness, but good enough will have to be good enough.

Lastly, I’m STILL burned out from all the video marketing I did in 2024 to promote my last book, Under the Surface, for which I went viral many times and didn’t get commensurate sales. I’m considering hiring someone to produce ~20 videos using the cover, graphics, and b-roll I’ll provide, because I physically can’t bring myself to open CapCut. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.

In summary, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—in excitement, overwhelm, devastation, and everything in between. No matter what the rest of this chaotic, roller coaster of a year will bring, I’m so glad you’re along for the ride with me.

I’ve had four books traditionally published, and I’m grateful and proud to have gotten this far. But things have gone wrong almost every step of the way. Some were out of anyone’s control (hello, pandemic on debut launch week!), but others were fixable or preventable.

Many of these snafus would have been less painful or avoided entirely if I’d known they were possible, so now I’m sharing lessons I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to. Today’s article is part of a series:

• 80+ ways publishing can reject you AFTER a book deal

• Writing and editing

• Book production

• Book marketing 👈 you’re here!

• Life as an author

What I’ve been up to…

Before I dive in, I’d love to give you an update on what I’ve been working on!

• I created a reader-focused newsletter and rewrote a short story to turn into a “reader magnet” to grow it faster. I announced it here on Substack but haven’t shared it on social media yet because I’ve been so busy with everything else on this list (lol oops).

• I’m 80% through the latest revision of my steamy snowbound locked-room thriller (adult), which I plan to self-publish in late 2026. My goal is to finish it next week and send it to beta readers. If you’re interested in beta reading it, please fill out this form.

• I designed my own cover for this thriller. AHH! I’m obsessed with how it turned out. I put my Photoshop skills to the test photobashing images I licensed on Depositphotos, and learned some new techniques, too, like how to use noise and motion blur to create a snow effect. It was so much fun and I can’t wait to reveal the cover!

• I’ve started writing a new thriller (YA) I’m SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT. So far I’ve written the pitch, first three chapters, and notes about all the main characters, red herrings, plot twists, and backstory. I can’t wait to share more about this one.

• I’ve been building book marketing plans for more happy clients. I may scale down my freelance workload depending on what happens with this new YA book… 🤞🤞

• I started Couch to 5K! I’m not training for a particular race, so I may repeat weeks 2 and 3 on loop for a while—it’s more to improve my cardio fitness as I approach a new decade of my life. And I’m sorry to say, I’ve been feeling happier and more energized. Damn you medical science! But with my Taylor Swift workout playlist and a Kindle book I only read on the treadmill, I’m motivated to stick with it and am enjoying the journey.

• Whew, this month of news has been rough. It’s been hard to avoid doom-scrolling, but I’ve found it helpful to subscribe to Heather Cox Richardson on Substack and YouTube for her expert, level-headed, informative takes on current events. Highly recommend.

Now for the main topic…

I could blab for ages about book marketing, but today I’m sharing the five lessons that have made the biggest impact on my approach to promoting my traditionally published books. These are less “tips” and more insights on how my personal mindset has shifted due to my experiences. YMMV.

Since I’ll be candid about certain experiences with my publishers, this will be just for VIP subscribers. As a preview, here are the five biggest lessons I’ve learned:

1. Trad authors can only move the needle so much if…

2. An author going viral doesn’t always lead to sales

3. Only do marketing you genuinely enjoy

4. Don’t assume everything will go smoothly

5. Ask your publisher for a NetGalley widget

Read more

Here’s the TL;DR

FOR READERS:

If you want the latest news about my books, early ARC opportunities, and exclusive access to my short stories, join my new mailing list here. I’ll be launching my next book in late 2026—a steamy locked-room thriller—so ARCs will be up for grabs later this year.

SIGN UP HERE

As a welcome gift, you’ll receive a brand-new steamy psychological thriller short story right away. At the end, you’ll find an exclusive sneak peek at my next book, including a full summary, a cover teaser, and the prologue. AHHHHHHH I’M SO HYPED!

Once you’ve joined this new list, feel free to unsubscribe from this Substack. Going forward, this space will focus on publishing, book marketing, and writing tips for fellow authors, and I’ll be documenting my self-publishing journey along the way. If you’d like to stay subscribed for the extra behind-the-scenes scoop, I LOVE it—just know there may be occasional overlap.

FOR AUTHORS:

Do nothing. I mean, keep reading this article and, like, breathing and stuff. But simply stay subscribed to this Substack to keep getting my tips and tea on publishing!

The reason for the great newsletter split

Since the start of my publishing career, I’ve wanted a direct line of communication with my readers that doesn’t rely on the whims of social media algorithms. I love sharing book updates, nerding out over easter eggs, and gushing about my messy characters.

At the same time, I can’t shut up about publishing. As a former BookBub employee who managed and wrote most of their educational content, I’m basically wired to share everything I know about book marketing and the industry. Helping fellow authors navigate the chaos of publishing is incredibly fulfilling to me.

The problem is, these are two completely different audiences. And up to now, I’ve only had one newsletter for both crowds.

So I’ve held back a lot. I’ve dialed down publishing talk so I wouldn’t bore readers who just want my book news and ARCs. And I’ve hesitated gushing about my stories and boring authors who just want actionable advice.

I’ve thought about splitting my list for years but kept putting it off because it felt like such a gargantuan task. But I can’t procrastinate any longer. The time has come.

Why now?

This year I’m officially making the leap from traditional publishing to self-publishing. I’m so freaking excited to go hybrid, and it means I’ll have more to share with readers than ever. I’ll be managing my own ARC distribution, running promos and discounts on my own terms, and releasing not one but two short stories. I’ll also be spotlighting other fantastic thrillers and romantic suspense books (*cough* newsletter swaps).

And I want to SQUEE about all of it without boring half the room.

I also need functionality Substack simply doesn’t offer. With Substack, you can’t:

1. set up automation besides a single “welcome” email.1

2. easily segment readers into groups like ARC teams, beta readers, or giveaway entrants.

3. send private one-off emails that don’t also become public blog posts.

4. send emails in batches (like when I want to test something before sending to my full list).

As a traditionally published author, I felt that was fine. As a self-published author who’s obsessed with marketing and wants to do ALL THE THINGS, I don’t.2

On the other hand, Substack is a fantastic place to connect with fellow authors. It’s a value-driven platform where educational content like mine can thrive, with simple paid tier functionality. And since I’ve started freelancing on Reedsy as a book marketing coach, I want to provide more content here to supplement my 1:1 services and provide value to authors on tighter budgets.

So the choice was simple. My author-focused content stays here. My reader-focused content moves to a dedicated email platform.3

Thank you for joining me

Friends, no matter which of my newsletters you subscribe to, I hope you’ll come with me into this next chapter of my publishing journey. Your support makes my entire career possible, and the fact that you’re here (or there!) means the absolute world to me. This coming year will be hard for many of us, and I hope my stories—and newsletters—can be a bright spot in the darkness.

Though, let’s be real… my new stories are pretty dark.

Fun, steamy, and full of forbidden romance and tension that’ll keep you flipping the pages until 3 a.m…. but dark.

YAAAAAAAAAAS.

First, I’m sorry for the delay on this post. I’ve been busy prepping for exciting announcements in 2026, which involves splitting my mailing list in two: one for my readers (on my website), and one for authors (here on Substack). I’ve waffled over this for years, and it’s finally time! The backend prep has been extensive—you’ll already see some branding changes here—but I’m not quite ready to announce it yet. Still, I didn’t want to leave you hanging since I promised this post a while ago. So stay tuned for those updates, especially if you want all my book-related content and to be the first to know about ARC opportunities!

Now let’s dive in.

My publishing journey so far has been a comedy of errors. I’ve had four books traditionally published, and I’m grateful and proud to have gotten this far. But things have gone wrong almost every step of the way—some out of anyone’s control (hello, pandemic on launch week), others fixable or preventable.

In the book production process, the snafus I experienced would have been either (1) less heartbreaking or (2) avoided entirely if I’d known they were possibilities from the start.

So I’m sharing lessons I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to. Today’s article is part of a series:

• 80+ ways publishing can reject you AFTER a book deal

• Writing and editing

• Book production 👈 you’re here!

• Book marketing

• Life as an author

To be clear, this one’s not meant to throw publishers under the bus. Their employees are overworked and underpaid, and I’m grateful for the time and effort they’ve dedicated to my stories. Rather, it’s to help fellow authors avoid similar snafus, have smoother experiences, or at least be aware of potential pitfalls so they’re not so surprising. But I’m candid about my experience—with each tip, I share a personal anecdote—so this one’s just for VIP subscribers.

As a preview, here are the tips I’ll cover in this article:

1. Get “cover consult” in your contract

2. Include all your books on the “Also by” page

3. Ask for mockups of casing & jacket design elements

4. Confirm sprayed edges will cover all three

5. Add Amazon A+ graphics pre-launch

6. Confirm accolades appear on retailer pages

7. Check your book’s copyright registration

8. Confirm change requests on the next printing

Read more

My publishing journey so far has been a comedy of errors. On one hand, I’ve had four books traditionally published, and I’m grateful and proud to have gotten this far. On the other hand, things have gone wrong almost every step of the way—some out of anyone’s control (hello, pandemic on launch week), others fixable, preventable errors.

When it comes to writing and editing books under contract, all my stress-points would have been either (1) way less anxiety-inducing or (2) avoided entirely if I’d known how to handle them earlier.

So now I’m sharing lessons I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to. Today’s article is part of a series:

• 80+ ways publishing can reject you AFTER a book deal

• Writing and editing 👈 you’re here!

• Book production

• Book marketing

• Life as an author

Believe it or not, this one probably has the least drama, so if you want the real tea, make sure to subscribe.

1. Protect yourself from burnout

Most debut authors sell a full manuscript, and their first experience working with an editor is on developmental edits, with 4-8 weeks to revise per round. (With exceptions. There are always exceptions.) Then, if their publisher picks up their option book, they usually sell it on proposal and write it under contract. Deadlines for a first draft vary widely, but sometimes they can be as little as 2-3 months.

Yep. Two or three months. To write an entire novel.

Some authors can write that fast, but others struggle, especially early-career authors who don’t yet have a set process. It took me two years to write my debut All Your Twisted Secrets before querying it, and when I sold These Deadly Games on proposal, suddenly I was staring in the face of a five-month deadline… on top of a full-time job.

Once I signed the contract for Lying in the Deep (with a four-month deadline), I left my day job to focus on writing. Still, when I sold Under the Surface the next year (with a similar deadline), I was incredibly burned out. I desperately wanted to ask for more time, but I powered through and nearly had a meltdown, then wound up rewriting it twice in developmental edits because of course my draft was a mess—my brain was a puddle of goo.

So why’d I let this happen?

I’m a people pleaser, sure, but publishing’s wonky power dynamics played a big role. After enduring five years of waiting and rejection before my first book deal, and after my first publisher dropped me because my debut launched March 2020 (when COVID closed bookstores) and sold “less than we hoped” (though it earned out within two months), I felt enormous pressure to say “yes” to everything afterward. I was terrified my new publishers would consider me a diva or drop me if I refused to write a book that fast. After all, plenty of speedy authors would jump at the chance for a contract with a Big-5 publisher! They could easily replace me… right?

After publishing my fourth book, I shifted to writing on spec to control my own pace and schedule, which is why I haven’t announced anything new yet. But since then, several wise authors have told me they simply asked their editor for more time—six months, even a year to turn in the first draft. And their editor agreed. No one canceled their contract. The book still came out, maybe a season or two later than expected, but everyone survived, and no one was branded a diva.

As it turns out, once you’re in the door, you’re on a team. It’s healthy to set boundaries early… as long as you stick to the deadlines you negotiate. (Respect is a two-way street!) So if you want more time, ask. A delayed season is better than a melted brain.

I’ll also add… I think publishers keep setting near-impossible deadlines because so many of us keep accepting them, and we’ve set a precedent that we’ll acquiesce to unreasonable demands. Without a union, we must collectively set new precedents to protect ourselves and each other.

2. Ask for extensions early

Boundaries are crucial, but when you set them matters. Publishers often juggle dozens of books each season, which takes a herculean effort of scheduling and coordination, and delays can have painful ripple effects or cause gaps in a release season. So it’s best to tell your editor as soon as you know you’ll need more time, not right before your deadline.

Here’s something I didn’t realize early in my career: once an author turns in the first draft and the editor finalizes the the production schedule, they usually build in some wiggle room in case of any delays along the way. So you may actually have a few more weeks than you think you do—but you can’t know for sure without asking!

Also, early and open communication makes it easier for your editor to fill in any gaps in a publishing season. One time, when I turned in a draft early, another of my editor’s authors asked for an extension, so we simply swapped publishing dates. It was a good thing the other author communicated her needs early enough to make that possible! All along, my guilt and perpetual people-pleasing made me think asking for more time was catastrophic… but it’s not.

3. Loop in your agent if edits are late

While much of my publishing journey has been rocky, I’ve been lucky in that all my editors have been timely with edits. The “worst” delay I’ve had was a week or two, and my editor always kept me updated. Compared to the horror stories I’ve heard, that’s nothing.

But I’ve seen enough friends experience the horror stories to include this point. Editors can be months late on edits… sometimes, close to a year. If this happens to you, it’ll push out your publication date, and worse, it’ll stall your advance payments because they’re tied to draft delivery—usually the one right before copyedits—and publication.

And that’s not to mention how when the edits finally do arrive, you’re usually asked to turn them around faster than usual because the schedule’s running so late, regardless of your other commitments.

Frankly, this is not okay. If more than a week or two passes after your editor’s deadline, loop in your agent. Agents have a ton of experience navigating this exact scenario. And if worse comes to worse, and your editor is completely ghosting you (yup, it happens), your agent will be able to escalate within the imprint.

But don’t be afraid to speak up. Just like you can’t read your editor’s mind to know what the holdup is, your agent can’t read your mind. They might not realize how stressed you are about the delay, or even how late your editor is unless you tell them (depending on how organized they are). Don’t assume “this is normal” or that your agent will step in automatically. The squeaky wheel really does get the grease.

4. Treat edit letters as a conversation

Developmental edits usually arrive as an edit letter. Mine have ranged from two to eight pages, and whenever I get one, I spiral for about 20 minutes as my brain goes, NOPE, IMPOSSIBLE, I HAVE TO GIVE ALL THE MONEY BACK. Once I settle down, I realize I actually agree with 90% of the feedback… and that lingering 10% caused my initial panic.

Usually, that 10% is when my editor suggests an idea I don’t like for tackling a problem. And here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: you don’t have to take all of your editor’s suggestions. Instead, identify the root cause of why they suggested it, then come up with a different solution you’re happy with.

The edit letter isn’t a mandate—it’s the start of a conversation. Sometimes your editor will suggest ideas for fixes with the best intention: to make your life easier. But 99% of the time, your editor will be perfectly happy with another solution. And it helps to talk it through together before you make the edits.

Here’s generally how I handle edit letters. To summarize, first I adapt the letter so it looks like a checklist. Each big plot point or character has a section header, and beneath, a bulleted list of what I plan to change. If I disagree with one of my editor’s notes, I add my question or alternate solution and highlight that bullet point.

Next, I send this new letter to my editor and schedule a Zoom call. (Yes, even as an introvert who hates Zoom!) On these calls, my editor always clarifies that any notes were suggestions, not requirements, which I know now, but is always reassuring to hear. Then we talk through all the highlighted bullet points in the document to brainstorm solutions we’re both happy with. I always leave these calls energized and motivated to dive back into my story. Again, communication solves most issues!

5. Don’t be afraid of full rewrites

I used to be terrified that someday an editor would ask me for a full rewrite. I thought of it as needing to write a whole other book under the same contract—what a waste of time! When it finally happened with Under the Surface, it felt like a gut punch, even though I knew that first draft was messy as hell. (And so was the second, because I had to rewrite it again. Did you know it was in the past tense up until its second developmental edit? Brutal!)

What I’ve learned is that rewrites can be painful, but so worth it. And they don’t mean you failed! Sometimes the bones of the plot are strong, but the way you fleshed out the characters misses. Sometimes your voice is stellar, but the pacing is too slow. Whatever it is, you’ve nailed some crucial aspect of the story that’s made your editor excited to keep working on it, and now you have a chance to level it up in a big way.

I learned more about craft in the time I rewrote Under the Surface (twice) than I have at any point in my career, and it’s now my most critically acclaimed book—an Indie Next Pick, Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection, and a Publishers Weekly starred review.

The key is to reframe how you think of rewrites. Instead of thinking you wasted time on a draft, think of it as the scaffolding you needed to build before laying the bricks, or even as a writing course you’re taking for free. No words are ever a waste, even the ones no one ever sees.

6. You can stet any edits

Line edits and copy edits arrive as track changes in the Word doc. Sometimes, editors will comment asking for tweaks, and other times they’ll edit the text directly. Authors can “stet” any of these requests or changes. (Stet is Latin for “let it stand,” and it tells your editor or copyeditor to leave your original wording as-is.)

These rounds of edits are my favorite part of the process. I love polishing the dialogue and making my prose sparkle, so I’m pretty chill about making changes. But sometimes, for example, a copyeditor will tweak the dialogue to make it grammatically correct, but it sounds too stiff for natural speech, especially if the character is a teen. In the beginning, I was afraid to stet too much and seem “difficult.”

Over time, I’ve learned that author friends stet even more aggressively than I do! And that’s okay. As the author, we get the final say in our artistic product. You don’t even need to justify your stet. I do like to include a reason, though, even if it’s as simple as “Stet for voice.” My editors have only pushed back on my stets a few times—and when they do, I’ll take a closer look, find the root issue, and address it. But most of the time, my stets stand.

Pro tip: Always carefully review your pass pages to make sure your stets were actually stetted. This has never happened to me, but friends’ editors have missed or ignored their stets, and they had to edit the pass pages to change it back.

7. Ask for authenticity reads

If you’ve written side characters outside your lived experience—especially when it comes to marginalized identities—no matter how much research you’ve done, getting authenticity reads (a.k.a. a sensitivity read) is crucial. No author is perfect, and this process can both strengthen those characters and save you from causing unintentional harm. Some publishers will arrange for a reader on their own, but others don’t unless you request it.

And you should. Don’t be afraid to ask.

At first, I worried my publishers wouldn’t want to fit in an extra round of revision in the editorial process. But every time I’ve asked for an authenticity read, across multiple publishers, they agreed with zero pushback. They did all the legwork, too—they found the right readers and covered the cost. I’m so grateful for the readers who took the time to review my books and provide input, and to my publishers for being so accommodating.

8. Request extra proofing rounds if needed

Every book goes through proofreading (called “pass pages”), but not every publisher gives you multiple rounds. After the proofread, you’ll do a final read-through of your formatted PDF, and sometimes, you’ll catch typos that’ve slipped through. Other times, it’s more than just typos—lingering continuity errors, a lack of fact-checking, or corrections that caused more mistakes than they fixed.

If you notice enough of these, it’s okay to ask for another round of proofreading. The one time I had to ask, I was nervous to seem like an overcritical diva. But when my agent made the request, my editor agreed right away, and even noted she was disappointed in the proofread as well. Once again, I worried for nothing!

I hope sharing these lessons I’ve learned the hard way helps make your journey a bit smoother. Publishing is messy and sometimes downright absurd, but it’s also full of people who care deeply about books and want to see yours (and you!) succeed. The more you know going in, the better you can protect your time and sanity and be a strong advocate for your own work. Stay tuned for my next article in this series on the book production process, in which… erm… I’ll spill some tea that’s quite a bit spicier. 🤪

Whenever I post about what it’s really like to be a traditionally published author, I get replies or DMs from new authors like, “WHAT?? I HAD NO IDEA!” This tends to surprise me because it feels like we all commiserate about this stuff constantly, but then I laugh at myself, because 7-8 years ago, I didn’t know most of this, either!

And I get sad about that sometimes. The fact that I didn’t know. Surely authors were complaining then, too! But even now, the information is so scattered, the anecdotes so often shared behind closed doors, it’s hard to learn all of it without years of being enmeshed in it.

Still, I wish I knew more earlier. Many of my biggest pain points have been out of my control, but others have been preventable, fixable things I could’ve avoided or resolved quicker if they weren’t such surprises. Or maybe they would’ve been less heartbreaking if I’d known to brace for them, or I would’ve chosen a different publishing path altogether.

This inspired me to write a series with tips based on things I’ve learned the hard way, so you don’t have to. Since I have so many tips, I’m splitting them up by topic:

• 80+ ways publishing can reject you AFTER a book deal 👈 you’re here!

• Writing and editing

• Book production

• Book marketing

• Life as an author

Let’s start by talking about rejection. As an aspiring author, I thought once I got a book deal, things would be smooth sailing relative to the awful five years I spent on submission with three different agents and three different projects.

Turns out, it gets even worse. Publishing always seems to come up with creative new ways to reject you!

If you’re pre-book deal, this can be hard to process, because at that point you’d kill to make it that far. But there’s something about being so close to seeing your dreams actualized and still getting rejected so often—after all that—that can take a deep toll. It’s more than just moving goal posts… it’s the realization that your dream maybe isn’t such a dream after all.

To help others brace for reality better than I did, I’m dishing the dirt: 80+ ways you can get rejected in publishing after getting an offer for a book deal.

If you’re an author, this isn’t meant to scare you off from traditional publishing, but to help you feel less crushed when these happen, because you’re not alone. Many of these are common. Which is scary, yes, but you can make smarter business decisions and ask your publishing team smart questions if you can better assess your risk. And if you’re already knee deep in the trenches, I hope this validates you and provides some comforting solidarity.

If you’re a reader, I hope this is… um… entertaining? 🤣 Maybe it’ll even motivate you to shout about your favorite author on TikTok, Instagram, or via Amazon/Goodreads reviews, because after all they’ve been through, WOO, lemme tell you, they’ll sure appreciate it!

To be clear, not all of these have happened to me, but they each DO happen. I won’t say which I’ve personally experienced; I’m not sharing this to complain, but to arm authors with information. If I’ve missed things (I’m sure I have), please add them to the comments!

1. You get an offer (yay!) and your agent pings the remaining editors hoping to drum up an auction, but no one else bites, and you get a lower advance or worse terms than you were hoping for.

2. Your deal is for paperback or ebook only, and you wanted your book in hardcover or print.

3. Your publisher won’t let your agent keep foreign or audio or whatever rights you wanted to keep.

4. Your contract falls through altogether. Back to square one! This is worse if you’ve already invested time in writing the story/edits.

5. Your book doesn’t sell UK and/or translation rights.

6. Your agency or publisher attends a foreign rights festival (Frankfurt, Bologna, London Book Fair, etc.) and doesn’t display your book at their booth or include it in their catalog.

7. Your editor requests a full rewrite during developmental edits.

8. Your editor ghosts you on edits for months (or longer), pushing your payments and publishing season.

9. Your publisher picks a cover you don’t like and vetoes your feedback because the sales team is “happy.”

10. A cover or character art illustrator declines your project or ghosts you.

11. Publications/magazines decline to host your cover reveal.

12. Your publisher doesn’t give your book packaging any special treatment (sprayed edges, illustrated endpapers, casing illustrations or foil, jacket foil or spot treatment, a map).

13. An author declines to blurb your book.

14. Your publisher declines to print ARCs for your book.

15. Your publisher declines to put your eARC on Netgalley.

16. You get negative ratings on Goodreads before ARCs even go out.

17. Your publisher declines to run Goodreads giveaways for your book (or runs fewer than their other upcoming releases).

18. One of the trades gives your book a scathing review (Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, School Library Journal, Booklist, Shelf Awareness, etc.).

19. Some of the trades don’t review your book altogether.

20. Your book isn’t included in relevant “Most Anticipated” or “Best of” lists.

21. Barnes & Noble doesn’t pick your book for a special edition or monthly book club pick.

22. Barnes & Noble places a small order or declines to stock your book altogether.

23. The big box stores—Target, Costco, Walmart, etc.—decline to stock your book.

24. Airports never stock your book.

25. Specific indie bookstores decline to stock your book when you reach out.

26. You find out via Edelweiss or your editor that your print run will be smaller than you hoped (or were initially told).

27. On Edelweiss, your publisher hasn’t added a banner or any supplemental material (author’s note, comp title map, one-sheeter) to make your listing more enticing to booksellers and librarians, but has for their other upcoming titles.

28. No big book boxes select your book (Book of the Month, OwlCrate, Illumicrate, Fae Crate, etc.).

29. No big book clubs select your book (Reese, Oprah, Jenna, etc.).

30. Your book doesn’t get picked for other big lists (Indie Next, Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection, etc.).

31. In general, your publisher is doing less promo for your book than their other upcoming releases.

32. Contacts on your team don’t write back to your emails or decline your requests.

33. Your publisher goes under and shuts down before your book launches. Back to square one!

34. Your editor leaves your imprint and your publisher consequently drops your book’s distribution/marketing support.

35. The audiobook narrator you wanted declines the project, or your publisher declines to consider them due to budget restrictions.

36. Your author copies arrive and you discover something missing from the packaging that was promised (e.g. foil stamps on the casing).

37. You try to build an ARC team or a street team, but nobody applies.

38. Influencers decline to accept a free copy of your book.

39. Influencers do accept a copy, but never post about it.

40. Podcasts you or your publicist pitched you to turn you down or ghost.

41. Reviewers negatively review your book on Goodreads, social media, etc.—and worse if they tag you.

42. You don’t get many book reviews at all.

43. A TikTok hate review about your book goes viral.1

44. A fellow author or nemesis trolls you anonymously on Goodreads.2

45. You don’t get invited to book festivals you wanted to attend, or your publisher declines to pitch/send you.

46. Your publisher declines to send you on tour or help you book any launch events.

47. A bookstore declines to host your event.

48. Teachers or libraries decline to book you for class/library visits.

49. An author declines to be your in-conversation partner.

50. Nobody shows up to your launch event.

51. Your book launches in a crowded publishing week and drowns under the flashier titles.

52. Your book publishes the same day/week as some huge breaking news story or global catastrophe so it drowns in the noise. (But hopefully YOU are ok! That matters most!)

53. Your publisher doesn’t post about your book on social media on launch day/week.

54. You don’t get the flashy things: a billboard in Times Square, spots on national TV talkshows, coverage from mainstream media, a review from the New York Times or NPR—lump ‘em all in here.

55. Your book publishes with a major misprint (pages, jacket, casing, another author’s acknowledgements, an outdated manuscript version for the audiobook, etc.); not an intentional rejection, of course, but it’s still crushing.

56. Bookstores and libraries don’t stock your book on launch week due to a distribution/warehouse error or ISBN data glitch.

57. You don’t hit the bestseller lists (New York Times, USA Today, Indie, Wall Street Journal, etc.).

58. You walk into a bookstore and find none of your books on their shelves.

59. Your book doesn’t get nominated for relevant awards.

60. Or if it does get nominated, it doesn’t win.3

61. Your publisher declined or forgot to submit your book for consideration to those relevant awards at all.

62. Your book never gets optioned for film or TV.

63. If your book does get optioned, it never makes it further in the process, and the option expires.

64. You can’t secure representation from a film agent at all.

65. Your TikToks, Reels, or other social media posts “flop.”

66. You don’t get invited to author communities (Discords, Facebook groups, group chats).

67. You get ejected from an author community for something you didn’t do wrong (like calling out problematic behavior or views).

68. An author friend drops you because you’re not successful enough or too successful.

69. Your book was first printed as a hardcover, and your publisher declines to publish a paperback.

70. Your book gets remaindered and your publisher refuses to revert the rights (e.g. if you’re slightly above the contracted threshold), effectively holding your story hostage.

71. You audition for an IP project, but the packager or imprint chooses a different author.

72. Nobody ever invites you to write a short story for an anthology, or you don’t get selected if you apply.

73. You pitch an article for a publication or guest post, and it doesn’t get selected.

74. You ask your publisher to submit your discounted ebook for a BookBub Featured Deal, but they decline to submit your book, or BookBub doesn’t select it to feature.

75. You run a paid ad yourself, and it doesn’t generate clicks or sales.

76. Your publisher rejects your option.

77. Your publisher rejects your next contracted book, telling you they want a different idea. This can happen multiple times. They could even cancel your contract.

78. Your publisher rejects the final book in a series if sales haven’t met their expectations, leaving you with an incomplete series and disappointed readers.

79. Your agent declines to submit your next project and asks for another idea instead.

80. Your agent puts you back on submission, but publishers reject it or ghost your agent.

81. Your agent drops you.

82. An agent rejects/ghosts your query.

83. An agent with your full manuscript rejects/ghosts you.

84. Feels like you’re right back where you started—uncontracted and agentless.

WHEW!!! I’M SO SORRY to paint such a grim picture with those last few. But I’ve seen this play out in real-time enough to know… well… it happens. But if ANY of the above ever happen to you, please know you’re not alone. You’re truly, truly not. 🫂

Do some authors get big advances and lots of support out of the gate to become instant bestsellers and face less rejection along the way? Sure! But that’s not the reality for most authors. Becoming a published author (whether you trad or self-pub!) takes grit and stubborn perseverance, and knowledge is power.

If you’re looking for even more validation like this, read this post from my friend Dahlia Adler: “It’s Not Just You”

And if you’re looking for a dash of positivity after all that, I wrote up my favorite things about being an author here. 🫶

Over the years I’ve written down some of these interactions thinking someday they’d make for a fun newsletter. That day is here, my friends.

*Note: I know this isn’t a universal opinion, but I don’t mind friends asking these questions—e.g. the ones about my sales—so please don’t get offended on my behalf!

Re: book advance splits

Friend: “Your publisher pays you upfront, right? So you can support yourself while you write the book?”

Me: “Well, it’s a tough market, and I’m trying to switch age categories, so I’m writing a whole book on spec—meaning, it’s not under contract yet. It’s risky, since it might not sell, but it improves its chances. But when I’ve sold books on proposal before, my advances were split in fourths, so I got 25% on signing, 25% when my editor approved the first draft, 25% when it went to copyedits, and 25% when the book came out.”

Friend: “I thought an ‘advance’ was supposed to be an advance.”

Me: “Ha, right? Some authors have even worse contract terms and don’t get the last 25% until a full year after the book comes out.”

Friend:

Re: normal advance amounts

Friend: “Each book sells for a good amount though, right? So that first 25% is still a decent chunk—”

Me:

Friend: “Oh…”

Me: “No, it’s okay—ever since she-who-shall-not-be-named blew up, it’s such a common misconception that authors make bank. But unless you’re already a bestseller or a super lucky debut, it’s rare to sell a book for six figures. Even most ‘six-figure deals’ are for multiple books, so it could really be $50k per book. Or less, if it’s a trilogy. My first one-book deal got $25,000 pre-tax, and 15% went to my agent. Split into multiple payments. And that was for years worth of work.”

Re: waiting on payments

Friend: “Well, at least you know when those payments will come in, right? So you can plan for those gaps in your income?”

Me: “Actually, when your agent takes your new project out on submission to editors at publishing houses, those editors can take anywhere from a week to a year (or more!) to get back to your agent. Even after you sign a contract, your editor could be weeks or months late on edits, or your publication date could get pushed for reasons that have nothing to do with you. So those later payments get pushed out, too. I have one friend whose editor was six months late on edits, and another whose publication date got bumped a whole year.”

Friend:

Me: “Actually… this one author got a work-for-hire deal on proposal and wrote the whole book before the contract was finalized, and the imprint backed out because they wanted to rebrand. And since they owned the IP, she couldn’t take it to any other publisher. So she did months worth of work for no income.”

Friend:

Re: deadlines writing on contract

Friend: "How long does your publisher give you to write the book?"

Me: "Depends. So far I’ve gotten 4-5 months for a first draft, but I have friends who've had to write a whole book in 2 months."

Friend:

Friend: “Wait… the editor could be months late on edits… but some authors get only two months to write an entire novel… ???”

Me: *nods solemnly*

Friend:

Re: bestseller lists

Friend: “So how does the New York Times bestseller list work? The books we see each week sold the most copies the week before, right?”

Me: “Actually those lists aren’t just based on sales—there’s some editorial curation going on. Sometimes a book with hundreds more sales than the book in the #10 slot won’t hit the list at all. One of my friends had enough to be #6 one week and wasn't on it. So you can hustle your butt off and actually get the sales to hit, and still just… not.”

Friend:

Re: sales data

Friend: “Your Reels for this book are so good! You must’ve sold so many copies!”

Me: “Actually, I don’t know. If I were self-published I’d get to see daily sales data in my retailer dashboards, but since I’m with a publisher, I only get to see accurate sales data twice a year.”

Friend:

Re: why publish traditionally

Friend: “So you’re publishing with a publisher... why? To make sure your book gets stocked in stores? And so they do the marketing for you?”

Me: “Actually, B&N isn’t stocking lots of books these days, and even if they stock yours, their order will probably be tiny unless you get a special edition—maybe a copy or two in half of their stores, if that. Most books don’t get much marketing or publicity support, either, unless they’re a lead title.”

Friend:

Re: lead titles

Friend: “So lead titles are picked based on… what? Trends?”

Me: “Not always. Sometimes it depends on how big an advance the author got. Ideally marketability would factor into that, but there’s a lot of luck involved—timing of other books coming out, your agent’s track record and sharkiness, whether the P&L statement included accurate comps, the editor’s or acquisition board’s mood, whether multiple publishers offer and it goes to auction. Actually, the head of the biggest publisher admitted during a DOJ trial a few years ago that it’s all random. Which is pretty funny since ‘random’ is in their name—”

Friend:

Re: the impact of a book going viral

Friend: “But those Reels got, like, millions of views. Didn’t that help? Wouldn’t B&N want stacks of your book on their tables? Wouldn’t your publisher want to promote it?“

Me: “Yeah that’d be pretty sweet.”

Friend:

Re: that glamorous author life

Friend: “But at least you get to go on book tours and hang out with other authors! That must be so cool!”

Me: “Local authors, yes, absolutely—I meet up with them all the time and I love it! But my personal policy is to only travel for book stuff when my publisher foots the bill, so I’ve never been on tour, and I’ve only been to one book festival so far.”

Friend: “But I see other authors announcing tours all the time!”

Me: “And most of them pay for it themselves.”

Friend:

These are all based on extremely real conversation I’ve had with friends and former colleagues. It's always jarring to see their reactions, but also extremely validating. Publishing is a strange industry, and the only guarantee is that nothing is guaranteed. 🫶

Want to pick my brain about publishing? I now offer 1:1 Q&A calls! Details here.

What about YOU? Have you had any conversations like this? Tell me about your friends’ Joey Tribbiani moments in the comments! And let me know if you want a part two, since Substack cut me off with their email length limit.

A few weeks ago, I finished writing my first adult thriller. It took me about seven months to write eight drafts, often writing 10-12 hours a day and straight through the weekends, as well as through multiple illnesses. The story is so much fun and I’m extremely pleased with how it turned out, but it was a ton of work that didn’t leave much time for me to, you know, be a human who interacts with other humans and does human things like sleep and eat properly.

Afterwards, I intended to jump right into my next manuscript, and even started to revise the opening chapters I’d written last year before moving ahead with drafting.

But then my brain decided to say in an extremely dramatic manner, NO. STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. AHHHHHHH.

So, at the encouragement of my extremely supportive husband, I decided to take a solid month off from writing fiction to refill the well and do some soul searching—What will I do next if this book doesn’t sell? Am I truly happy as an author? How can I tie my identity less to my publishing outcomes?—and so forth.

Since I’ve been taking this time for myself, I haven’t been doing much newsletter writing, but I thought I’d fill you in on what I’ve been up to and how I’m using this time to refill the well and recover from the burnout of writing a novel so quickly.

1. Traveling

One of the best ways for me to truly unplug is to distance myself from where I write every day, and since I work from home, it means getting out of the apartment. I also tend to get lots of inspiration when I travel. After all, I got the idea for Under the Surface—a survival thriller about a group of friends who go missing in the Paris catacombs—while touring the Paris catacombs. So even though I’m an anxious flier, I like getting out and seeing the world.

This time, my husband and I made a quick trip to Quebec City in Canada, which is about a six-hour drive from Boston. No flying! Yay! It was our first time there and it’s such a lovely city, with lots of history, good food, and culture to soak in. And like Montreal, it’s so cool to be able to drive somewhere where everyone speaks French.

We’re also planning a longer trip for the fall, though hopefully by then I’ll be working on whatever project is next. It’s just harder to be spontaneous about destinations further afield.

One personal observation: I’ve had trouble planning trips over the past few years since I’ve been at the mercy of my publishers’ production timelines, and sometimes I don’t find out what my deadlines are until the last minute. But as it turns out, it’s tough to schedule travel even when dealing with self-imposed deadlines. I had to pause revisions for my agent while in Quebec City and pick them back up when I returned (he didn’t give me a deadline; it was up to me how long it took). Still, it was nice to have that extra week at all, so… one point for writing on spec vs. writing under contract.

2. Journaling

During this break, I’ve started journaling so I can do some soul searching and put my most stressful thoughts to paper. I was skeptical of how much it would help, but it’s truly been such a relief. I handwrite in a notebook—typing on my laptop feels too much like work—and it’s nice to go back to basics and hear the scratch of my pen on paper, to give the anxieties swirling around my brain a release.

I’m also keeping a separate notebook as a gratitude journal, where each day I write in it, I list five things I’m grateful for. So one notebook’s for stress venting, and one’s for gratitude. It’s given me a great reason to fill the pretty notebooks I’ve collected that have stayed blank too long!

To be honest, I don’t journal every day, but I’m giving myself grace to miss days, then journal again. This is the main reason I tend not to journal—I’ve tried before, but if I miss a day, I feel guilty, and over subsequent days the guilt builds and builds until I stop altogether. But… why? The only person holding me accountable is me. The only person judging me is me. Annnnnnnd these are the sorts of thoughts and revelations that make journaling so helpful!

3. Playing video games

After finishing the remaster of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion a few weeks ago, I downloaded Clair Obsur: Expedition 33 since people have been screaming about it on Threads and TikTok. And let me tell you, all that screaming is extremely warranted. It’s an all-consuming, reactive turn-based RPG with a heart-wrenching story, loveable characters, mind-bending twists, gorgeous graphics, gratifying combat (once you learn to parry it seriously feels like you’re meditating), and music that’s altering my brain chemistry.

I don’t want to tell you what it’s about because I went in knowing exactly nothing about the plot, and it was the best way to do it. I’ll just say this: when the prologue ended, I turned to my cat, tears streaming down my face, and said, “Oh, I’m in trouble.”

And I was right. I just finished the game last night, and it destroyed me in the best way. I haven’t been so traumatized by an ending since Mass Effect 3.

I’m so inspired by how this game came out of absolutely nowhere—I’m used to anticipating games I want to play for years1—and how a 30-person French indie studio, Sandfall Interactive, created such a unique, intricate, stunning gaming experience that’s sold 3+ million copies in two months. It’s shot all the way up my list of all-time favorite video games, possibly even overtaking Baldur’s Gate 3 for the #3 slot. I need to mull on that a bit more.

To anyone who’s also played: didn’t the music absolutely blow your mind? I created a playlist of my faves on Spotify—feel free to steal it. The official album is missing some tracks, like the battle version of For Those Who Come After and The Manor, which… WHY??? Either way, this will be the soundtrack to my life for the foreseeable future.

I swear I didn’t mean for this newsletter to be an advertisement for one specific video game, but here we are!! If you’re a gamer and you haven’t played this yet, put everything else down and play. Do it. DO IT NOW. 🤗

4. Reading comic books

Around the time of the inauguration, I decided I needed some true comfort reading, and my brain leapt to the For Better or For Worse comic series I used to read as a kid. The strip ran in papers from 1979-2008, and it was pretty unique for having complete drama-filled story arcs, following the Patterson family over the years: Elly and John, and their children, Michael, Elizabeth, and April, who aged in real-time. I’m a late 90s / early 00’s millennial, so I grew up between Elizabeth and April and remember racing my mom to the newspaper’s comics page each morning before school to find out what happened next, especially in the love lives of Elizabeth and Michael. And I thought, it’d be so fun to read the entire series straight through!

It took me a couple of months to secure as complete a collection as I could (Ebay helped me fill some gaps), and I’ve been making my way through it chronologically during my writing break, which has been such a joy.

Fun note: One of the second-hand copies arrived in worse condition than was advertised (I’ve managed to flatten the front cover, so it doesn’t look bad in this pic). At first I was a bit peeved, but when it came time to read it, I flipped it open and gasped—the author, Lynn Johnston, had autographed it. It made me tear up, and now it’s my most cherished book of the collection.

5. Reading novels (obviously)

I’ve also been reading books, mostly on audio since my eyeballs have been occupied by video games and comics, and this way I can read while multitasking. Here are some of my favorite audiobooks I’ve listened to recently:

• The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

• The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

I’m also working my way through the Silo series by Hugh Howey in print since I watched the first two seasons on Apple TV earlier this year and simply refused to wait a year or more to find out what happens next. I’m about halfway through the third book, Dust, now.

6. Avoiding social media

I’ve been pretty quiet on social media—even on Threads where I’m usually most active—and it’s been such a tremendous relief. I miss connecting with my friends on there at times, and yes, I’m worried that doing zero promo for so long is hurting my books’ sales and exposure. But I’m really not missing the negativity, pressure to post, and unforgiving algorithms. I’d rather write a whole-ass essay for my newsletter than post a single photo to Instagram. Social media is such a consistent drain on my happiness and well-being that removing it from the equation makes a huge difference—so much so that it’s tempting to stay away for good. (Yet there I just went, posting to Instagram again. Sigh. It’s a DISEASE.)

7. Floundering

I’m a workaholic who’s had a job since I was 14 years old, and I’ve never taken this kind of time off in my life. I never had more than a week off between gigs at different companies, either. So I’ll admit, there have been some days where I’ve stared at my laptop, tempted to write, knowing I shouldn’t, that my mind needs space for proper soul searching, but feeling itchy for not being productive. (Hence today’s newsletter.) I have a week left of this break, and I’ll be spending most of it considering what sort of jobs I’d like to pursue if I need to reinter the workforce full-time. I used to do content marketing, but it seems AI has upended that job market within the past three years, soooooo…. question mark question mark question mark???

Anyway. I’ll figure it out. I hope. 😅

Now it’s your turn! Tell me what books, video games, TV shows, or anything else you’ve been enjoying has helped you refill the well and/or recover from burnout. I’d love to hear from you in the comments. 🫶

Under the Surface is a survival thriller I wrote about an aspiring travel YouTuber, Ruby, who goes on a class trip to Paris and can’t wait to spend the week with the boy she’s falling for, Sean. But when her best friend sneaks out to meet a hot French boy, Ruby goes after her, and he takes them into the catacombs for a secret party and they get lost for days, while aboveground Sean races to find her and a media frenzy begins.

And it’s inspired by true events.

The coolest thing about writing a story set in the catacombs was getting to visit them several times and meet actual cataphiles—the urban explorers who traverse the off-limits sections of the tunnels. I learned tons of creepy facts from them and all my research rabbit holes, so I thought it’d be fun to show you how some of these nuggets influenced the story, and how I weaved them in to make the catacombs feel like a character itself.

Be warned: there are spoilers below!

Fact #1: When in Paris, there’s a city’s worth of bones under your feet

When people think of the Paris catacombs, they might imagine the tourist section where you descend 131 steps and follow some winding corridors to an ossuary—The Empire of Death— where you can view halls lined with human bones arranged in artistic patterns.

But this ossuary is only a small part of the vast network of 300 km of underground tunnels that span much of the city, home to over six million dead Parisians. Most of it’s illegal to enter because it’s so dangerous—there are cave-ins, flooded tunnels, and the constant threat of getting lost if you’re not with an experienced guide.

In Under the Surface, Ruby gets lost in those off-limits sections. And when she first meets Julien, the alluring Parisian boy who invites her and her friends to a secret underground party, I had to explain what the catacombs were without it feeling like an info-dump. So I combined facts, voicey introspection, and fun dialogue:

“We’ve been dying to see the catacombs—the intricate web of tunnels beneath the city where the skeletal remains of six million long-dead Parisians line miles and miles of passageways in artistic arrangements. It has to be one of the creepiest things you can see on the entire planet, which obviously means I have to see it. Mr. LeBrecque added it to our itinerary after I begged and pleaded, but we’d be visiting the small touristy section—the only bit open to the public. Most of the other entrances scattered throughout Paris have been sealed for ages, and the only accessible ones are secret from everyone except for—

“You’re a cataphile, aren’t you?” I ask Julien, breathless. Suddenly his outfit makes sense.

Selena sputters a laugh. “Did you just call him a pedophile?”

“A cataphile,” Olivia pipes up. “It’s what they call the explorers who meet up in the catacombs.” Of course she’d know about them, too. “Illegally, I might add. Isn’t it dangerous down there?”

“How’s it dangerous?” Selena asks.

“It’s not if you know what you’re doing,” says Julien, “and where you’re going. And I do.”

Fact #2: Thieves used to pose as tour guides

When I first toured the catacombs in 2015, our guide shared how in the 1800s, thieves would pose as tour guides to lure people deep into the catacombs, then rob them and leave them to find their way out of the pitch-black tunnels alone. If their victims were lucky, the thief would let them keep a lamp.

That’s why there’s now a thick black line painted along the ceiling of the official tour route, so if anyone ever found themselves lost without a map or guide, they could follow the line to the exit… if they could see it. They called it the “lifeline” because it was your chance to escape alive.

Sean sees this lifeline while touring the catacombs with his class, as their teacher tries to keep the students occupied while the French police search for the missing girls. This excerpt is from Sean’s POV, and Guillaume is their tour guide.

“Did anyone notice this black line?” Guillaume asks.

I’d vaguely noticed it winding through our route along the scabrous ceiling, reminding me of the red brick Freedom Trail back in Boston, so I absentmindedly raise my hand.

Always a mistake.

He calls on me. “Do you know what it’s for?”

“Uh . . .” I stiffen, hating getting put on the spot. “Is it . . . so people don’t get lost?”

“Very good,” he says. I relax my posture. “It’s called the lifeline. When the catacombs first opened to the public in the eighteen hundreds, none of these lights were installed yet, and you could easily take a wrong turn into an enormous, pitch- black maze. Back then, grifters would bring people down here and threaten to leave them to find their way out alone . . . unless they paid a price.” He rubs his fingers together, eyes glinting.

This anecdote was the original inspiration for Under the Surface. It’d be terrifying to get lost in that dark maze with only one flashlight, the battery like a ticking timer. What a story that would make! What if a group of teens got lost down there? What if one of the girls was in love with a boy aboveground who had no idea where she went? So the idea was born.

(Fortunately, my own tour guide was not a thief.)

Fact #3: Teenagers got lost in the catacombs in 2017

As Ruby and Sean solidified in my mind over the next couple of years, I researched more about the cataphiles (more on them below) and watched YouTubers share firsthand accounts of exploring the dark maze—and apparently, some thieves still pose as tour guides today. Spoiler: Though Julien isn’t a thief, this concept planted the seed that he’s up to more funny business than what he’s telling the girls.

Then in June 2017, I saw a news story on CNN about teenagers who were rescued from the Paris catacombs after being lost for three days.

This story didn’t gain much traction, and if you try to research it, you won’t find much. I never attempted to reach out to the parties involved. I’m sure their experience was quite harrowing, and I hope they made a full recovery in peace. But seeing this brief snippet validated that my premise was realistic, even today.

Fact #4: Cataphiles explore the off-limits sections

Cataphiles don’t just wander around the maze of tunnels—they have parties and raves, graffiti the stone walls, swim in the underground lakes, and find hidden alcoves no one’s set foot in in hundreds of years. As Julien says:

“Coming down here . . . it’s like a drug. An addiction. The rush of exploring the unknown, of finding rooms nobody has entered in centuries—there’s nothing else like it.”

I wove these activities into the book in various ways: the party Julien meant to take the girls to before they get lost, the graffiti Ruby inspects (some of which hold clues), the underground lake where they must hold their breath for over a minute to swim across.

The cataphiles also abide by a code to respect the sacred halls they wander, including doctrines like “what comes down must go up.”

“Watch it.” Julien points at the plastic seal she accidentally dropped. “What comes down must go up.”

“Sorry, sorry.” She [Olivia] picks it up, harried, not used to getting things wrong.

“These are sacred halls. Let’s not disrespect the dead by leaving our trash down here with them.”

The dead. I peer down the corridor. They’re down here somewhere.

Cataphiles also play music as they explore so fellow cataphiles can hear them coming and know they’re friendly. And in the book, music—or the lack thereof—is a clue that whoever is chasing Ruby, Julien, and their group are not actually cataphiles, but someone much more sinister…

Fact #5: Cataphiles are actually… not so creepy

The police play cat-and-mouse with illegal explorers, sealing the entrances throughout Paris to limit access to old mines: manhole covers, old doors in the Metro tunnels, trapdoors in old basements, and so forth. But according to one of my cataphile guides, the police mostly want to keep tourists away—not the cataphiles. In fact, it’s helpful that they go down there, since they know the layout best and help monitor its structural integrity. During this very tour, our guide noticed a crack in the ceiling and paused her spiel to inspect and photograph it so she could report it, with lots of unnerving muttering about how “that wasn’t like that last week.”

The cataphiles also help keep tourists from getting lost. All those rumors you hear about cataphiles grabbing your maps and running away? Maybe that happens. But if they’re a real cataphile, they’ll come back to lead you to the surface. They only freak out intruders to dissuade them from coming back, for their own safety.

Still, those creepy rumors were great inspiration for the sinister presence that chases Ruby and company—and that whole structural integrity bit helped inspire their motivation. But as a nod to the truth, Sean notes how the cataphiles help the rescue operation… and I think they would in real life, too.

Fact #6: How they got all those bones down there

The catacombs weren’t always underground ossuaries, but limestone quarries dating back to the late 13th century. Miners would extract the stone from enormous well shafts—stone that’s thought to have been used in some of Paris’s most famous buildings, including Notre Dame and the Louvre palace.

The mines were largely forgotten about until the late 1700s when streets of Paris started collapsing into the old tunnels. Literally. On December 17, 1774, an entire city street fell into a 20-meter deep hole known as the “Mouth of Hell.” This incident triggered an inspection and fortification project of the old mines.

Around the same time, the cemeteries couldn’t keep up with the rising death toll in Paris, so bodies were buried in mass graves. During a particularly bad storm, the graves started flooding into neighboring shops’ basements. LITERALLY. CORPSES AND ALL. It created such a critical public health hazard, city officials decided to relocate the bones. Since it was too expensive to shuttle them all outside the city, they decided to drop them into the old mines.

AGAIN. LITERALLY. They dropped the bones down the same wells miners previously used to extract limestone.

Underground, the workers fortifying the tunnels collected the bones and organized them into ossuaries, using their usual construction methods: small bones piled in the back, bigger pieces like femurs and skulls up front. They took pride in their work, creating intricate patterns—stacks and zigzags, crosses and hearts—that Ruby’s group often runs across while outrunning the sinister presence chasing them.

Not all of this made it into the book—I had to choose which nuggets would be most relevant to the plot—but Olivia does explain some of it when they come across a creepy mural showing Paris crumbling.

“Paris did actually split open like this once.”

“Yeah, right,” says Val.

“No, it’s true,” says Olivia. “A mile-long trench opened up one afternoon—December 1774, I think—and all the houses on that stretch collapsed into it. They called it the Mouth of Hell.”

“But if there are no fault lines . . .” I trail off.

“It wasn’t an earthquake. It was actually because of this place. The catacombs.” She tilts her head. “Only, they weren’t catacombs yet. They were originally mines. They took a ton of limestone from down here to build the city, even buildings like Notre Dame, but they didn’t properly fortify these tunnels afterward. So buildings started collapsing into them.”

“It wasn’t until they started moving the dead into the tunnels that the city stabilized,” says Julien.

“Yeah, that’s around when they started bringing down all these bones.” Olivia motions to the column. “The fortification work reminded them Oh, hey, there’s all this empty space right under our feet; perfect place to dump the bodies from the overflowing cemeteries.”

Fact #7: Julien’s favorite crepe stand actually exists

Okay, so this one will only make sense if you’ve read the book… and for those who have, it’s more heart-wrenching than creepy. In one scene, Ruby asks Julien what’s his favorite spot in Paris.

He grins. “Oh, easy. There’s this little crepe stand right beside Notre Dame. I get one with strawberries and Nutella, so warm and gooey, the edges so crisp, ugh, it is perfection.” He clasps his stomach. My mouth would water any other time, but after breathing in stale air that reeks of damp dust for hours, it feels dry and gritty. “I like to sit on a bench right there with that magnificent view, early in the morning, when the sky is clear and it is not so busy. There is no better place, not in Paris, not in the world.”

“I love that,” Val says, but I scoff.

Julien peers at me again. “What?”

My cheeks warm. His answer reminds me so much of what Tyler told me about Paris that night in his bedroom. “It’s just—That sounds so cliché. So touristy.”

He gives me a little shove. “Look at you, judging me.” The corners of his eyes crinkle. “Locals can enjoy what the tourists do. That’s how it becomes a tourist attraction to begin with, yes? The most appealing spots become the most popular.” Julien brandishes his arms. “And up until yesterday, this was my favorite spot.”

“Sorry we ruined the death maze for you,” Selena mutters, heaving a sigh. “We’re never going to find a way out, are we?”

So the next time you head to Paris, look for one of these crepe stands around the perimeter of Notre Dame’s courtyard. And get one for yourself. For Ruby. And for Julien. (By the way, if you want more of an explanation about Julien’s fate, you can find it in my latest author AMA.)

But all facts aren’t present in fiction…

As much as I tried to incorporate historical and present-day accuracies into the book, I also took many artistic liberties, including the [redacted] who chase Ruby and company through the catacombs, as well as the layout of the corridors they traverse. Because this route doesn’t exist, I commissioned a map artist, Danny Ride, to bring this vision of the catacombs to life. This map appears in the book itself—both the hardcover and paperback!

Get a copy now

I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more behind the story of Under the Surface! If you have any questions—either about the catacombs or what you’d like to see in an upcoming newsletter—let me know in the comments below. 🥰

P.S. All photo credits go to ME (lmao) except for that CNN screenshot.

Here’s a summary of the questions we’ll cover today!

1. Who do you recommend for making bookmarks and book plates?

2. You took your book about Paris to Paris???

3. If you were trying to break into publishing today, what genre would you choose based on sales and market saturation?

4. Why do you think kidlit sales are down?

5. What did you change or cut from early versions of Under the Surface? *spoilers*

6. What happens to Julien at the end of Under the Surface? *HUGE spoilers*

The last four are ESSAYS that could have been their own posts lmao but let’s dive in!

(Quick note: I scheduled this to send on Tuesday, June 10 while traveling and mostly offline, so if you have any questions or comments, I’ll reply when I return.)

1. Who do you recommend for making bookmarks and bookplates? I’m launching my book in September and having a hard time finding someone.

Congrats on your upcoming launch! So far I’ve designed all my own bookmarks and book plates using Photoshop—I have graphic design experience from my past jobs in marketing. I either use artwork from my covers my publisher provided to me or character art I’ve commissioned (Lying in the Deep: Chinthaka Pradeep; These Deadly Games: Mars Lauderbaugh).

For printing, I use GotPrint. Lately I’ve been obsessed with their 18 pt. Premium Pearl paper option, which gives the bookmarks a sparkly sheen. Full transparency, the quality is a mixed bag, and I’ve had issues with customer support—they don’t always take accountability for printing errors on their end. One rep in particular was pretty rude. But they have the best pricing I’ve been able to find, and since I self-fund all my own printing, I’ve dealt with it.

2. You were in freakin’ Paris? With your freakin’ book? Wait, were there croissants?

Yes, yes, and yes! Sadly, I didn’t think to take a photo of my book WITH a croissant, but here’s me in freakin’ Paris with my freakin’ book about freakin’ Paris.

And, separately, here’s a pain au chocolat I had on the steps of Basilique du Sacré-Cœur during my 2019 research trip.

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Under the Surface—my romantic survival thriller set in the Paris catacombs—is out in paperback today! YAYYYYY! It has a lovely splash of color, and I hope you’ll find the purple edge a fun addition to your shelf.

Buy on Amazon

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This edition also has the three-page map tracking Ruby’s journey through the Paris catacombs in stunning detail thanks to illustrator Danny Ride.

Paperbacks are my favorite format to read, and since my second book never got one (with the hardcover out of print), I’ll never take getting a paperback for any of my books for granted. I hope you LOVE this edition as much as I do!

That said, I want to be transparent about the fact that only one edge is purple because it’s pretty unusual. It is intentional by my publisher, and I apologize if my early promotions were misleading since I called them “purple edges”—I did expect all three edges to be purple until I opened my box of author copies. Publishing keeps finding new ways to surprise me lol, but hey, we love a quirky splash of purple!

Still, to make up for it, if you preordered a copy in the US, I’d be happy to mail you an autographed book plate and bookmark for free! Just fill out this form. 🫶

My next newsletter will be the spring edition of Ask Me Anything (AMA), which is always fun—I LOVE answering your questions! If you have something you’d like to ask me, leave a comment below. If you’d prefer to ask anonymously, you can do so here.

Ever since Under the Surface launched in August 2024, fellow authors have been asking me for details on how I promoted it. While I’m truly flattered each time, I’m wary to frame my marketing strategy as “tips” or “advice.”

Why? Because I cannot guarantee results.

I firmly believe that 95% of the time, traditionally published YA authors can only move the sales needle so much if they don’t have strong distribution support from both their publisher and B&N, unless they have a huge platform already. Especially these days—sales are down for most kidlit books except those with exclusive edition treatment. Without strong support, success is a lightning strike. A lotto win. No amount of hustle can guarantee it. So until I can validate my strategies *do* work to accomplish *my* goals in a different age category or circumstance (e.g. self-pub), it feels disingenuous to position this as “advice.”

But since people keep asking, I want to have something to point folks to. And do I have this thing I wrote Aug 2024—a chronicle of how I promoted the hardcover launch, a journaling exercise from when I was severely burnt out. I journal blog-style to synthesize experiences like this thanks to a decade-long career in B2B content creation, but I cannot be more clear: this is not advice. It’s just a log. I added the “results” section the week after launch Aug 2024, then edited it down for Substack (boo email length limit!) and added footnotes May 2025.

While I dislike gatekeeping, I’m putting this behind a paywall because (1) it’s the only way I feel comfortable being transparent about certain parts, and (2) I don’t want this to circulate in a manner that makes any authors feel pressured to do all this. I’d never want anyone else to feel how I felt in 2024: like the husk of a burnt out shell. But if you REALLY want to know what I did, this is how you can find out. I hope that feels fair.

My goals with sharing this are:

1. Give you ideas for some book marketing tactics you can try, with zero guarantees, and to have something to point people to when they ask for my strategy.

OR

2. Free you from the pressure you’re feeling to do EVERYTHING. I tried. It wasn’t enough.* Be free. Write your next book.

*Pre-paywall footnote: While it was enough to get me on a regional indie bestseller list—and I’m truly proud of that—I don’t think my results were commensurate to the effort I put in (due to distribution/print run limitations).

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Get it here: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo

I’ll have a bigger update for you next week, where I’ll be dishing how I promoted the hardcover of Under the Surface, so stay tuned! Sorry you’ll get two newsletters so close together; again, I just found out about the deal, and the newsletter isn’t quite ready. 😅

In other news, I’m about 75% through the third draft of my Secret Adult Thriller and hoping to get it to my agent next week, so… BACK TO IT! I hope you’re all doing as well as can be. 💜

To clarify: I’ve just completed the second draft of a new book.1 I don’t let myself write “THE END” until after I write the epilogue. And I don’t let myself write the epilogue until draft two. After one more draft, I’ll be ready to send this manuscript to my agent. And, hopefully, an editor will connect with my vision enough to help me shape it into something even more sparkly.2

After writing “THE END,” I usually sprawl on the floor and sob for a bit, then immediately binge-watch the TV shows I’ve fallen behind on.3 This time, after the requisite sobbing on the floor, I want to sit with these emotions longer and examine what it feels like to write “THE END” after having four traditionally published books out already.

Because here’s the thing: my publishing journey has been gnarly. So writing “THE END” feels quite different now than it did twelve years ago, the first time I wrote those two little words. Back then, I was all starry-eyed with hope, naive about how in publishing it’s way harder to stay in the room than it is to get in the door. Someone’s always trying to fling you out a window.

When I first wrote this subject line, I cringed.

Sounds melodramatic, right? But it’s true. I’m proud and grateful to be published, but at the same time, a lot of my experience has been painful—so much so that after my last book Under the Surface came out, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this anymore. At all.

I truly don’t mean to sound ungrateful. There have been loads of positive aspects, like seeing readers enjoying my stories, connecting with them, befriending fellow authors, seeing my book on shelves—I’ve talked about the highs and lows of my publishing experience here. But I’m not sure the positives have outweighed the negatives. I’ve soul-searched this to death, and honestly, I can’t decide.

But as it turns out, I don’t know how to exist in this universe without writing.

Also turns out, I’m persistent and stubborn and maybe a bit spiteful, because I can’t quit until I prove all the naysayers wrong.

So, onward I go. And, hopefully, upward.

This story is different than my previous ones.

Something that’s given me the strength to move forward is how different this book is from any I’ve written before. It’s an adult thriller, for starters, and I’ve only published YA so far. But it’s also more romantic—forbidden romance—more unhinged, more introspective, much steamier, and it digs into darker subject matter.

I also primarily wrote it for me. Before I started seriously drafting in January, I was torn between two projects. My agent was happy for me to pursue either one first, but seemed to favor the other; maybe it’s an easier sell. But this story is the one that was calling to me. I’ve dreamt about the scenario for years—it’s literally how I’d lull myself to sleep, pondering how it’d go down. I never meant to turn it into a book for other humans’ eyeballs. But after sinking to such a dark place this fall, when I was considering quitting, I needed to write something for fun. Something for me. Something to help me recover from the burnout of the past five-year grind.

So, what am I feeling in this moment?

I’m relieved. Every one of my books has felt like a fluke. I’m one of those authors who googles “how to write a book” before starting every one. So my very first emotion is sheer, elated relief, because I managed another fluke! Weeee!4

I’m scared. Maybe it sucks! Maybe it doesn’t make sense! Maybe it’s TOO unhinged, and my agent will think I lost my mind! Or, my agent will submit to publishers, and editors will think I lost my mind! Or I’ll self-publish it, and readers will think I lost my mind! Either way, I’m scared people will think I lost my mind. AHHHHHHH!

I’m proud. I wrote the first draft in about three months, including a week off when I got really sick and a week off for vacation. I got sick the week after vacation, too, but it was a less severe cold and I really wanted to meet my self-imposed deadline, so… fuck you, body! (I fully acknowledge this is not healthy and do not endorse hustle culture.)

I wrote the second draft in one month, and a bunch of it was a rewrite. It needs one more revision before I send it to my agent; I’m hoping it only takes 2-3 weeks.5

I’m frustrated. I’m mad at myself that it took this long. And I’m mad at myself for being mad at myself, because actually, this isn’t long at all. But my original self-imposed deadline was to send this to my agent by May 1, and that won’t happen. I’m happy with the plot beats, pacing, character growth, etc., but it needs another pass. Whether or not this deadline was feasible to begin with, I won’t be hitting it, so, boo.

I’m jaded. I used to think of each new manuscript as a lottery ticket. Before I got published, it was a lottery ticket for my first book deal. After I got published, it was a lottery ticket to be a lead title at my publisher. But I don’t think of this as a new lotto ticket anymore. Now it’s a new chance to hurt more. Again, that feels melodramatic! But it’s true. Even if it does sell to a publisher, there’s all the rejection that comes after: the negative reviews, the social media trolling (I don’t know if it’s the pandemic’s fault, but people have gotten mean), the slow burn of disappointments in the months before launch—not getting special editions, not getting book boxes or starred reviews or big orders from certain retailers, and on and on. I adore writing. But the part that comes next… whew. I don’t know. The actual publishing part has been rough.

I’m very, very, very cautiously excited. Even though I wrote this book for me, I do think it’s on trend, with an exciting hook and fun, voicy protagonist. I’m not ready to share the details yet, but I hope readers will love how unhinged, twisty, and romantic it is.

I’m bashful. I wrote my first truly steamy scenes in this! I don’t want to spoil how far the characters get but it goes well beyond what I’d be comfortable with family members reading lmaoooooooooooo. I’d say my steamiest scene up to now was Jade and Felix on the top deck in Lying in the Deep, and this goes way past that. So. FUN. But also, oh my god, how will I send this to my agent???

That pretty much covers it. My emotions are all over the place, and now I’m going to dive into draft three. I hope I’ll be able to share more about this book with you later this year. If not, let’s all just pretend we never read this newsletter!!! 🤪

1

It’s actually more like six or seven drafts for some chapters. I use the “Snapshots” tool in Scrivener when I start rewriting or heavily revising a chapter, and some of my chapter snapshots look like this. So it’s always hard for me to tell exactly how many drafts in I am. But, let’s just say, this is the second time I’ve reached the end of the manuscript and thought “okay, time to save this as a new document with a new number at the end.”

My debut novel, All Your Twisted Secrets, came out five years ago today, which means I’ve been a published author for five years, but also it’s been five years and five days since shelter-in-place began, and the passage of time makes ZERO SENSE.

But we’re not here to have an existential crisis!!! Instead, let’s celebrate this anniversary with the exclusive Q&A I originally offered to anyone who preordered the book, including never-before seen1 explanations about the huge twist at the end. Yup. I’m talking about it.

VIP subscribers also have access to footnotes with unhinged commentary as I reread this interview five years later, where I spill tea on things I’ve learned about publishing since debuting. And also to celebrate, I’m offering 50% off your annual VIP subscription! (Offer expires 4/17/25.)

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In All Your Twisted Secrets, six teens are locked in a room with a syringe of poison, a bomb, and a note saying they have one hour to pick one of them to kill, or they’ll all die. It’s WILD that a publisher let me publish this lmao. All spoilers are in the last section of this Q&A, and I’ll give you ample warning so you can avoid them if you haven’t read the book yet. Unless you like to know the endings of books early! If you’re one of those people who flip to the end first because THE TENSION’S JUST TOO MUCH, hey, there’s enough stress in the world—I’m not judging.2

Where you can buy the book: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop

How did you get the idea for All Your Twisted Secrets?

One day, my husband and I were speculating the shortest timespan you could set a book or movie to. Could an entire book take place over just fifteen minutes? No way, that’s not enough time to accomplish anything! But what about an hour? What if you locked a group of people in a room for an hour? What if someone died after an hour? What if the trapped people killed that person? What if they had to choose someone to kill, or else they’d all die? We exchanged a look, like, “Bingo,” and I raced to my desk to scribble ideas for characters I could throw into this situation.

All Your Twisted Secrets takes place in one room over one hour. What were the challenges of working with such a tight locale?

The challenge wasn’t so much with the locale, but the time constraints. One hour is so little time to get to know each character! I thought interspersed flashbacks within the locked-room narrative would kill the tension as they confront this impossible choice, so instead, I alternated real-time chapters with flashback chapters3—all from Amber’s POV over the past year. These flashbacks get to the heart of the story: the characters’ relationships and how they deal with many of the pressures teens face today, from bullying to college admissions to losing a loved one—all while dropping clues about whodunit and who might die.

This structure was a beast. Each character’s arc stretches across two timelines, and each real-time chapter-ending cliffhanger feeds into the next flashback chapter, which spills into the next real-time chapter’s reveals and twists. Let’s just say, I learned the hard way that I should outline psychological thrillers first!4

You have six people in the room… how did you create your cast? Did anyone change from your initial vision?

Before selling the manuscript to my publisher, there were actually nine characters in the room: two who no longer exist, and Zane, who was originally locked in as well.

Originally, I didn’t have any Breakfast Club-like archetypes in mind. I wanted to lock varied personalities in the room so their competing priorities would clash and Amber would struggle to get everyone on the same page, but they weren’t meant to adhere strictly to these “queen bee” and “star athlete” and “stoner” roles.

Cutting characters was my most difficult edit. I didn’t simply delete their lines and scenes. Instead, I had the remaining characters absorb their dialogue, traits, and hobbies. If anything, it helped me make the remaining characters more dimensional.

Did you know how the mystery would end before you started writing it?

No. More on that in the spoiler section below.

What are some of the most effective techniques for building suspense?

Ending each chapter on a cliffhanger is one of my main strategies.5 It’s harder to do than you’d think without feeling contrived or like you’re intentionally withholding information to keep readers hooked. And each chapter builds in tension until I cut it off.

I also like to create a few overarching mysteries that span the full novel as well as mini-mysteries throughout to create these little cliffhangers. The payoff for each mini-mystery comes within the next chapter or two, otherwise readers will get frustrated. Providing some gratification along the way helps propel them through the narrative until the big final twist—or, in AYTS, the double-whammy twist.

We all have to kill our darlings sometimes. Was there anything dear to you that got cut from this story?

You mean, aside from cutting THREE characters from the room? ;-)

*Semi-spoiler alert* The protagonist, Amber, is an aspiring cinematic score producer. There are several tense scenes in the room where multiple characters grab for the syringe, and originally, in one of them, Amber heard music in her head as though she were subconsciously composing a score to the scene. In each round of developmental edits, my editor kept cutting the musical interludes, and I kept stetting her track changes. I wanted Amber’s career aspirations to serve a purpose in the room! But my editor was persistent in each draft until I finally caved. It was for the best to delete them, I think; it came off a bit cheesy.6

What was your publishing journey like?

*Checks watch* How much time do you have?

I wrote two manuscripts before All Your Twisted Secrets and didn’t research how to get published until I was ready to send that first manuscript… somewhere? Anywhere? I was vaguely aware that I’d need a literary agent, so I Googled how to get one and quickly discovered #PitMad—a Twitter7 pitch contest where agents “like” pitches as an invitation to query—coincidentally held later that week. I tweeted my pitch, and days later, I got my first offer of representation. Several offers followed, with agents throwing around phrases like “the next Hunger Games” and “probably a $200,000 advance.”

So I went on submission to publishers for the first time with sky-high expectations. At the time, I knew nothing about the industry or what to look for in an agent. I wasn’t even aware of how difficult it was to land an agent. I assumed publishing normally moved this fast. OH PAST-DIANA, YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD.

That book wasn’t the next Hunger Games. That book didn’t get a $200,000 advance. After a year and a half on submission, that book didn’t sell at all.8

I was crushed. But even before the book didn’t sell, I realized my agent and I weren’t a good fit. So I parted ways with her and dove into the query trenches with my second manuscript. Two months later, I got an offer from a newer agent (who’s an absolute sweetheart, and we’re still buddies!). I signed with him, and he took two of my books out on submission, but neither of them sold.

Up until this point, I’d been holding out for a traditional publishing deal because I write young adult novels, and according to recent data, 60% of teens preferred print books, and fewer than 25% owned an ereader. Distribution to bookstores and libraries would be imperative to reach my audience, and it’s challenging to get distribution when you self-publish.9 But I was weary of rejection and constantly feeling devastated. I’d also been working at BookBub for about three years, and thanks to that job, I knew many authors who’d achieved great success by self-publishing. I also knew a lot about the process and how to promote a book. I felt confident I could do it.

So I parted ways with my second agent and started the process of self-publishing my first book. I even hired a copyeditor and started contacting cover designers. I was ready.

Around the same time, I finished writing All Your Twisted Secrets. My CPs said they loved it. A few told me it was the most marketable book I’d written and encouraged me to try for a new agent. But that would mean nixing my plans to self-pub; if I signed with an agent, they’d need to pitch All Your Twisted Secrets to publishers as my debut.10

After some soul-searching, I decided to give traditional publishing one last shot. Of course, that meant querying agents all over again. This time I was pickier about who I queried and landed offers from my top two choices after about three weeks. It felt like a dream come true. I signed with Jim McCarthy, and about six months later, I had a book deal with HarperTeen!11

What was the editorial process like with your editor?

My editor, Catherine Wallace, is character development genius, and I’m so grateful to have worked with her on this project. Before she made an offer, she asked me to do a partial revision, a.k.a. an R&R—revise and resubmit. Her team wanted me to cut three characters and make a couple of other big changes. Once I turned in the first fifty revised pages, I continued editing the rest of the manuscript while waiting for her to bring the book to acquisitions—the meeting where executives from editorial, sales, and marketing decide whether or not to buy a book. By the time the deal closed, I’d sent her my first full revision.

Following the book deal, we completed:

• Developmental edits (two rounds): bigger changes like deepening characters’ motivations and relationships, and cutting or adding plot points. Each time, my editor sent me an edit letter—the first was eight pages, single spaced!—and made in-line comments using track changes.

• Line edits: sentence-level tweaks and other small points of feedback, all in track changes from my editor.

• Copy edits: spelling errors, typos, and grammatical mistakes, all in track changes from a copyeditor. I then stet any I disagreed with (e.g. “alright” to “all right”).

• First pass pages: my editor mailed me a printed manuscript so I could read the whole thing and catch any final errors.

What was it like to see your cover for the first time? Did you get to have any input?

First of all, I adore my cover! Many thanks to illustrator Evgeni Koroliov and designer Corina Lupp at HarperCollins for making it so stunning.

First, my editor sent me two mockups for different artistic directions and asked me to choose my favorite. One option was striking and would stand out on shelves (it had placeholder faces at that time), and the other was pretty but not very unique, so I picked the former. A few months later, my editor sent the striking version with my characters’ faces! We went back-and-forth with the illustrator and designer a few times to make sure two of the characters accurately reflected how I’d envisioned them, and to tweak the font. Seeing the final version was the coolest thing. I’m so proud this is the cover of my debut novel, and I love showing it off!12

Was there anything that surprised you about the publishing process?

Now that I’ve befriended many other authors, it’s wild to see how different the experience is imprint-to-imprint, or based on whether you’re a “lead title” or not (which is largely determined by how big an advance you got; a topic way too complex for this Q&A). A common bit of advice you get as an author is to “keep your eye on your own paper.” For the sake of keeping jealousy at bay, I agree, but I also think it’s important to be well-informed about what others’ experiences are so you know what to ask for in the future, or mistakes to avoid.13

What’s been the best part of the publishing process?

» I recently published an updated answer in its own post here!

It’s hard to choose just one. Connecting with readers has been incredible—I mean, that’s what this was all for! So whenever readers yell at me on social media about how my book made them scream or stay up way too late or throw my book across the room in shock, it makes my day. And I adore their bookstagrams and their excitement for this story. It’s truly been wonderful.

I’ve also loved connecting with and befriending fellow authors. It’s surreal to walk into a bookstore now and feel like I’m visiting my friends.

And of course, a stand-out moment was getting the blurb from R.L. Stine. When he emailed me his blurb, I was at work, and I literally started hysterically laughing and shaking at my desk. I couldn’t believe it. Growing up, I read every one of his Fear Street books, and many of the Goosebumps books, too. So having a blurb from him on the cover of my book is wild. Life can come full circle in some of the most astounding ways.

What’s been the hardest part of the publishing process?

» I recently published an updated answer here (the second half)!

Everything else. Just kidding. (lol am I?) My journey to get published was long and demoralizing; it was hard to feel like I wasn’t good enough, year after year. But in some ways, having gone through that pain makes getting published now all the more gratifying.

There’s also a lot of pressure as a debut author. There’s always another hill to climb (e.g., getting another book published!), and each hill seems steeper than the last.14 Plus, I’m a camera-shy introvert, and the prospect of doing signings and panels is daunting. It’s a good problem to have—I’m sure with time and experience, that will get easier, and I’ll get better at setting personal boundaries. But as a new debut, it’s all a bit scary!

*SPOILER ALERT*

The next section will be the Q&A about the ending, and it’s full of spoilers. Do NOT scroll down unless you’ve already read the book or are willing to find out the ending early. (You can buy it here: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop)

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I’M WARNING YOU AGAIN JUST IN CASE.

SOOOOOO MANY SPOILERS INCOMING OMG 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO.

Did you know whodunuit when you first started writing All Your Twisted Secrets?

While writing the first draft, I had a sense of the ending—something different than what it is now. But as I reached the second-to-last chapter, the true ending hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ll never forget writing the first line of the chapter titled “4 Hours Ago.” That line hasn’t changed since the first time I wrote it. I knew what I had to do. I knew it would make for the most delicious twist. But then I had to go back and rewrite the whole darn thing.

So what was this “completely different” ending?

As I mentioned earlier, there were originally nine characters in the room, and one was a boy who Diego ended up replacing in draft #2. This boy loved Amber and hated that she was with someone else. He hated how Robbie was a popular athlete who wanted to upturn Amber’s goals so she could follow him to college. He hated Sasha for being cruel to everyone. He hated Zane (originally in the room) for being more charismatic. He hated another character who no longer exists for getting better grades than him. I hadn’t worked through all of his logic yet, but he basically hated everyone except Amber, and wanted Amber all to himself.

By the time I got close to the ending, it felt very wrong to me. It didn’t give Amber enough agency to be manipulated throughout both the flashback and real-time chapters by someone she liked romantically who ended up locking everyone in the room for hateful and selfish reasons. In a way, it seemed too easy. Too trite. I never wrote the ending of this version—once I realized Amber was the prankster, I wrote that “4 hours ago” chapter and went back to the beginning to rewrite everything. It’s been Amber since the second draft.

Did you ever consider any other culprits?

Yes, while writing the first draft. But I knew it was Amber so early in the overall process that I only ever had that first draft to contemplate different endings. I did consider someone outside the room—someone like Phil getting revenge on people who bullied him. I also considered some wildly different options. An evil psychiatrist who wanted to test the scenario. Some sort of government experiment. They’re all in the Matrix. Aliens. I have Diego mention some of these as a nod to these considerations, but they were only ever fleeting thoughts.

Did you ever consider having the bomb go off?

Of course. I considered everything. But how on earth would readers react to an explosion mid-sentence and then—

Why did you kill Sasha?

*Wipes sweat from brow*

There were three reasons for killing her.

1. One major theme in All Your Twisted Secrets is that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a shot at redemption. This is why Amber wants Sasha, Robbie, and Scott in this scenario—all three have messed up, and she wants them to learn the repercussions of their actions and change their ways. Robbie and Scott learned their lessons. But Sasha didn’t learn hers twice. She didn’t learn after Maggie died; she bullied Priya even though she suspected Maggie had died by suicide, and that bullying had exacerbated Maggie’s mental health struggles. And she doesn’t learn in the room—that no one’s life is worth more—when she tries to murder Amber even after the bomb doesn’t go off. She’s so determined to come out on top all the time that the lessons never stick. So she got the axe—er, glass shard.

2. Some things in life don’t work out how you intended. No matter how much you prepare or think things through, or how much control you think you have, something you didn’t expect could come along and upend all your meticulous planning. Amber never wanted anyone to actually get hurt, but it happened. This is also why Sashas die before sputtering her last words to Amber. Real life isn’t like the movies. Real life is messy.

(Aside: As I type this, I have to laugh. When prepping for my debut book launch, I stressed and planned about every little thing that could go wrong. And now a global pandemic is sweeping across the globe, upending everything. REAL LIFE IS MESSY.)15

3. Come on. Someone had to die. I couldn’t promise this “either one of them dies, or they all do” scenario and have no payoff. I’d never hear the end of it.

Why does Amber turn herself in? What about USC???

If Amber believes everyone makes mistakes but deserves a shot at redemption, turning herself in is necessary for her character arc. If she tries to get away with everything, it defeats the purpose of her entire locked-room scenario. However noble her logic, she tried to force other people to change and abide by her personal moral code. She put others in danger, however careful she was to remove lethal elements from the room ahead of time. So she must redeem herself by facing the consequences of her actions. Real life doesn’t come wrapped in neat little bows, and neither does this book’s ending.

I always knew the ending would be polarizing. Unreliable narrators usually are. But I was willing to take that risk to tell a memorable story in a way that gave the FMC agency and allowed her to be flawed, make terrible mistakes, and learn from them.

What happens to Amber after she turns herself in?

Her fate is intentionally left open to interpretation! I wanted to make people think. What do you think should happen to Amber? What should her punishment be?

Will there be a sequel?

There are no official plans for a sequel at this time… but I’d love to return to these characters someday. That’s all I can say about that!

Thank you to my street team for sending in these questions!16 I had so much fun answering them. I hope you love this story as much as I loved writing it.17

And now for the extra commentary for VIP subscribers!

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Since I have no additional words to spare, let’s jump right into today’s topic: how music helps me write my books.

People often ask me what music I listen to while I write, and I always feel a little awkward admitting, “I don’t.” I’m not trying to be coy — I just need silence to focus! I’ve always been more productive at home than at a café or office because it’s more quiet there, unless there’s construction outside my window (city life, whew). When that happens, I drown out the jackhammering with white noise, not music. Here’s the white noise clip I play on loop.

Despite my brain needing quiet time while writing or revising, music does play a big role in my overall writing process. So I thought it might be interesting (or helpful, if you’re also a writer) to share how!

1. Music helps me hone the story’s stakes

While I’m ideating a book, I’ll pick out 2-4 songs that match the vibe of the most crucial beats in the story. I can’t even fully describe how I do this; for example, Whatever it Takes by Imagine Dragons is my #1 theme song for Under the Surface, and the connection just popped into my head. There’s no way to explain it other than… my synapses fired…? 😅

Once I have those songs, I’ll listen to them on loop and visualize the book like a movie trailer in my head. This helps me grasp the most dramatic beats and visualize them over and over, so I can write them in an emotive way that will leave a lasting impression on readers. So, for example, when Dan Reynolds is singing “Whatever it takes, ‘cause I love the adrenaline in my veins,” in my head I’m seeing Ruby climbing the ladder with Olivia’s inhaler, slipping from the ladder, and Julien lunging down to clasp her hand and haul her back to safety. IYKYK.

It’s sort of like writing a query letter or pitch before drafting to help you define the stakes upfront.

2. Music helps me brainstorm

I’ll go on lots of brainstorming walks while listening to these tracks on loop. Boston is super walkable, so I often take 1-2 hour brainstorming walks in different parts of the city. Sometimes, other songs creep into my “inspiration” playlist — songs I happen to be obsessed with at the moment, tracks from video games I’m playing or a show I’m watching, etc. — that may not have a specific connection to my story but help me get into a creative headspace.

3. Music helps me get in the zone

This playlist helps when I’m suffering from writer’s block or flailing on the floor from malaise (often with my cat) — listening will give me that boost of motivation I need to get my butt in the chair and write. Then, once I’ve crossed over and am in the zone, I need silence!

4. Music inspires my promotional content

Once it’s time to promote my book, I’ll build out a full playlist based on all the songs that were part of this experience, and any other tracks I’ve discovered that fit the vibe of the story. I’ll share that playlist close to the book’s release, and I’ll also use pieces of those tracks when creating TikToks and Reels. And since I’ll edit the content to fit the beats of the song, these tracks play a pretty big role in how readers — at least, the ones who follow me or discover my book on social media — are first introduced to the story.

Under the Surface Playlist

Here’s the playlist for Under the Surface! These tracks aren’t in sequential order, and there isn’t a song for every chapter or scene. Some tracks have the right vibe or even just a single line that reminds me of a specific character or scene, and others I just listened to a lot when I was drafting or revising this book—again, not while writing, but when I was brainstorming.

>> Here’s the playlist on Spotify.

Be warned: there are spoilers below! If you’d like to listen along as you read the book for the first time, here’s the playlist in Google doc with the spoilers blacked out. Substack doesn’t let me do that kind of highlighting/spoiler tagging.

1. Paris - Taylor Swift

I’m a Swiftie and so is Ruby, so this is what she would have played ahead of the trip while excited to explore Paris with Sean.

2. …Ready for it? - Taylor Swift

Julien plays music as he leads the girls to his party—rather, he tries to lead them there—before his phone dies. This is the song he plays first.

“Shall we?” says Julien. As we set off, he scrolls through his phone until a Taylor Swift song blares from the tiny speaker.

I smile on reflex—I’m a total Swiftie—but Val says, “Way to kill the ambiance.”

“Cataphiles play music so you know they’re coming.” But he turns the volume down, stooping slightly to keep his head from grazing the jagged ceiling.

3. Into the Darkness - The Phantoms

This is the runner-up as the theme song for this book. I discovered it because it’s the music in one of the trailers of the video game Dragon Age Inquisition, and, I mean, listen to it… “Into the darkness, we must run… into the darkness, we all must fight.” Then think of all the scenes where the lost group runs from the cultists, and the scene where Julien and Ruby literally battle a cultist with bones. Perfect fit.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift

After the group gets lost, Ruby thinks this about Julien:

Worst of all, I betrayed myself. I snuck out to get Val because I had a feeling she was in danger. I knew to walk away from Julien. I knew this was too dangerous. And I came down here anyway. I abandoned my own good judgment because I wanted views for my channel. I wish I could take it back, take it all back, but I can’t, and now we’re trapped with nothing but death ahead or behind us, and there’s no way out of it. A fierce helplessness claws at my insides, ravaging me until I can’t contain it anymore, and I let out a harrowing shriek.

“I’m sorry.” I sob as Val wraps her arms around me and tears streak down Olivia’s cheeks. “I’m so, so sorry.” I should’ve hauled Val to the Métro by her ankles if I had to. I knew something bad would happen. I knew, I knew, I knew.

5. Running Up That Hill (2018 Remaster) - Kate Bush

I imagine this as Sean’s theme as he starts to look for Ruby while his teacher, parents, and the French police resist his help, but he’s determined to help search for the girl he loves.

6. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey, Steve Perry

Pure vibes. I don’t know how to explain this one, I just listened to it a lot while writing this!

7. Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo

This one is incredibly nerdy and specific, feel free to judge me. While I was writing Under the Surface, this video (spoiler in this link!) crossed my TikTok FYP. It’s a fan edit of the first teaser trailer of the next Mass Effect game, where Liara is presumably searching for Commander Shepard. For some reason it reminded me of Sean searching for Ruby, except he never gets high to avoid thinking about her, nor does he ever try to forget her. So it’s not an exact match, but I still listened to this a lot while brainstorming.

8. Breathe - Ex Makina

Pure vibes. This was the music in the Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power season 1 trailer, and I listened to it a lot while going on my Boston esplanade walks while brainstorming this book.

9. Demons - Imagine Dragons

While lost in the catacombs Ruby finds the strength to confront her inner demons, whether it’s being afraid to tell the people she loves how she feels, or bottling up her grief for the mother she never met, or reckoning with her role in the dissolution of her and Selena’s friendship.

10. Whatever it Takes - Imagine Dragons

If there were a theme song for this book, this is it. It came out in 2017, and I sent the pitch for Under the Surface to my literary agent in 2018. I’d listen to Whatever it Takes on loop, visualizing all the key events in Under the Surface like a movie trailer in my mind, and I eventually fleshed out that “trailer” into a full outline. This song inspired the tagline on the cover, and it’s why I use this song so often in my Reels/TikToks.

Fun fact: I saw Imagine Dragons perform at Fenway Park the summer of 2022, soon after selling Under the Surface to Penguin Random House. It was the first concert I’d been to after shelter-in-place, and it was brutally hot and sticky that day, so my husband and I got lucky with last-minute front row tickets. And when the band played this song (and Demons) I sobbed like a baby, because this book that’d been swirling around my brain for years was finally happening, I was finally writing it, we were finally vaccinated, the world was finally resembling something like normal, and here was Imagine Dragons literally feet in front of me performing the song I visualized this book to. It was just… a lot. I’m crying now just remembering it, lol, I’ll never forget how huge that moment felt.

Another fun fact: If I ever manage to get tickets to a Taylor Swift concert, I’ll be sobbing like that the entire show. DON’T LET ME GO.

11. Everybody Wants to Rule The World - Lorde

This is Stefan’s theme.

12. Treacherous - Taylor Swift

This is Julien’s theme, mostly for the title of the song. I warned you about spoilers.

13. Experience - Ludovico Einaudi

I played this on loop while writing the scene where Ruby slips her phone into Selena’s pocket and says goodbye, and realizes that she was wrong… it’s not all for nothing. We’re more than a pile of bones. (Page 315)

Fun fact: When I got my author copies, I listened to this track while reading page 315 for a promotional video and ended up legitimately crying on camera, and then I was too chicken to upload it lmaoooooo. At least a screenshot from it can be the preview image for this newsletter!

14. Past/Present Suite (from the Andor score) - Nicholas Britell

I played this on loop while writing the entire rest of the ending of the book. The tone of the scene this plays during in the show Andor matched the atmosphere I was going for.

15. M4 Part II (from the Mass Effect score) - Faunts, EA Games Soundtrack

Mass Effect is Selena and Aliyah’s favorite video game, and they get that from me! This is the song that plays during the end credits of Mass Effect 1, and this line hits so hard: “And I need you to recover, because I can’t make it on my own…” So it’s apt that I think of it as the end-credit music for Under the Surface. Hey, you can even play this as you read the acknowledgements!

I hope this was interesting to see, and that you enjoy the playlist! Under the Surface is out now in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook, and it comes out in paperback on May 27th with lovely purple edges. You can preorder that edition here: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop

If you have any questions you’d like me to answer in future newsletters, please let me know in the comments! I hope you stay well, and you’ll hear from me next on March 17 for the 5-year anniversary of All Your Twisted Secrets.

Under the Surface is a thrilling survival story about a girl who goes missing in the Paris catacombs for days, while aboveground the boy she loves races to find her and a media frenzy begins. People ask me how I came up with this idea all the time, so today I’ll share this book’s origin story… and how it was inspired by true events.

Before we dive in, I quickly want to share the news that Under the Surface’s paperback edition will be out on May 27, 2025, with lovely purple edges (AHHHHHHH!) and a catacombs map, and it’s 25% off on Barnes & Noble until February 7. Hooray!

It started with a love of survival stories…

I’ve gobbled up as many survival stories as I could find over the years, starting in middle school with Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. It’s about a boy who survives a single-engine plane crash and finds himself alone in the middle of the woods, and it made me wonder if I’d be resourceful and brave enough to make it out alive, or if I’d curl up in the fetal position until a bear sniffed me out. Let’s be real—probably the latter.

Then in high school I came across Alive by Piers Paul Read, a real-life account of a Uruguayan rugby team that crash landed in the Andes in the 1970s, which I read way too many times considering all the cannibalism. Yeah. 😬 Those poor people.

Over the years I continued to seek out survival thrillers, whether contemporary fiction like Hatchet, stories inspired by true events like Alive and Apollo 13, sci-fi like The Martian, dystopians like Bird Box, or video games like The Last of Us.

There’s something so damn compelling about people enduring in the face of impossible odds. For a long time, I knew I wanted to write a survival story of my own. I just didn’t know what that would look like.

2015: The idea takes shape

I first visited the Paris catacombs in 2015. In case you’re not familiar with the catacombs, here’s a small excerpt from Under the Surface when our protagonist Ruby meets Julien, an alluring Parisian boy who takes her and three friends underground. She explains:

We’ve been dying to see the catacombs—the intricate web of tunnels beneath the city where the skeletal remains of six million long-dead Parisians line miles and miles of passageways in artistic arrangements. It has to be one of the creepiest things you can see on the entire planet, which obviously means I have to see it. Mr. LeBrecque added it to our itinerary after I begged and pleaded, but we’d be visiting the small touristy section—the only bit open to the public. Most of the other entrances scattered throughout Paris have been sealed for ages, and the only accessible ones are secret from everyone except for—

“You’re a cataphile, aren’t you?” I ask Julien, breathless. Suddenly his outfit makes sense.

Selena sputters a laugh. “Did you just call him a pedophile?”

“A cataphile,” Olivia pipes up. “It’s what they call the explorers who meet up in the catacombs.” Of course she’d know about them, too. “Illegally, I might add. Isn’t it dangerous down there?”

“How’s it dangerous?” Selena asks.

“It’s not if you know what you’re doing,” says Julien, “and where you’re going. And I do.”

Unlike Ruby, who agrees to go to Julien’s party in a restricted area, I only explored the small section open to the public, where locked gates block any tunnels leading away from the official tour route, preventing you from getting lost.

Still, I was nervous. Spiral staircases trigger my claustrophobia; when I previously climbed the domes of St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican City and St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, I was a sweaty, shaky, out-of-breath, panicked mess. And to reach the catacombs, you need to descend a 131-step-deep spiral staircase. 😱

I almost chicken out, honestly. But I wanted to see those ancient tunnels so badly, I braced myself and took the plunge. Counting each step helped me focus on something besides THESE STAIRS WILL NEVER END and I’M GONNA FALL AND DIEEEEEE. My legs shook like a leaf, but I made it to the bottom in one piece—sans panic attack.

Our tour guide explained that the underground tunnels span 300km underneath much of Paris, a labyrinth that originated as limestone quarries in the 12th century. In the 1700s, entire city streets collapsed into the old abandoned tunnels, launching a fortification project. Around the same time, Paris’s cemeteries were overflowing into neighboring basements during heavy rainstorms. This was obviously a major health hazard—and disturbing AF—so city officials decided to relocate six million corpses into the catacombs. Fortification workers took great care organizing the bones using their standard methods: small rocks (er, bones) piled in the back, with bigger pieces like skulls, femurs, and tibias up front, which they arranged in artistic patterns.

Today, the ossuaries you can tour are only a small part of the vast network of tunnels. The rest is illegal to enter because it’s too dangerous; cave-ins, flooding, and other obstacles have caused explorers to get lost. In fact, throughout the centuries, scammers would pose as tour guides to lure their marks into the dark maze, then would rob and abandon them to find their way out alone.

AND THERE IT WAS. The anecdote that sparked the idea for Under the Surface.

My brain started whirring with ideas, right there in the catacombs. What a terrifying story it would be if someone in modern times got lost in that pitch-black maze with only a flashlight, its battery like a ticking timer. And what a heart-wrenching romance it would make, if a couple falling in love got torn apart when she gets lost in the catacombs and he’s aboveground racing to find her.

2017-2018: Inspired by the news

This idea floated around in my brain for years, but I was a new writer at the time and didn’t feel ready to tackle something so weighty—I wanted it to be this epic survival story that would make people sob. So I wrote another manuscript that ended up getting shelved, then All Your Twisted Secrets, which wound up being my debut.

But every so often, I researched a little more about the catacombs, watched YouTubers’ first-hand experiences, noted down interesting facts. I learned more about cataphiles, the urban explorers who play cat-and-mouse with the police to open sealed entrances to roam, graffiti, and party in the tunnels.

Then, in June 2017, I saw a news story about teenagers who were rescued from the Paris catacombs after being lost for three days.

This story didn’t gain much traction, and if you try to research it, you won’t find much. I never attempted to reach out to the parties involved; their experience was, I’m sure, quite harrowing, and I hope they’ve made a full recovery in peace. But seeing this story validated my premise—it’s realistic even in modern times.

Another year passed while I signed with an agent for All Your Twisted Secrets, completed an R&R for a publisher, and landed my first book deal.

Then, in June 2018, a junior football team in Thailand got trapped in a flooded cave for 12 days. This time, the news coverage was swift and monumental, and it became a global phenomenon as the world watched the boys get rescued.

Seeing the media’s reaction on a global scale was also validating; I’d always envisioned Sean’s POV showing the rescue efforts aboveground and the ensuing media frenzy. This finally compelled me to email the pitch for Under the Surface to my agent.

2019: Back to the catacombs for research

My agent loved the idea right away. But contractually, my publisher wasn’t obligated to consider my next proposal until All Your Twisted Secrets was accepted for copyedits, and that was a ways off. But I was determined for this to be my next book, so in 2019 I headed back to Paris and down into the catacombs for some real research.

These pictures are from this 2019 trip:

I also explored the area surrounding the Luxembourg gardens and found a street corner I visualized as the spot where Ruby, Selena, and Olivia meet up with Val and Julien in chapter four.

I took loads of pictures and diligent notes of my tour guide’s anecdotes—and he was an actual cataphile. After this trip, I wrote a proposal for Under the Surface: the opening three chapters and a synopsis.

A long road to publication

This essay is about how I got the idea for Under the Surface, not about the messy innards of the publishing industry. But it took another five years to get this book published, and I want to show you why. Here’s what happened next:

• November 2019: My agent submitted the proposal to my first publisher, but they wanted to wait until All Your Twisted Secrets launched in March 2020 to gauge its performance. This relinquished their first right of refusal (aka my option clause). This same month, I wrote a very messy first draft for NaNoWriMo.

• November 2019: I didn’t want to wait until my debut published to sell another book, so my agent took the proposal out on submission to other publishers. In the meantime, I started working on a proposal for These Deadly Games.

• Over the next few months, rejections rolled in. One actual quote: “We think this should be pushed more as a thriller and less as a thriller/romance.” Editors didn’t want Sean’s secondary POV. I wasn’t willing to publish the book without it. Sean is half of the love story, and his aboveground chapters give readers the occasional reprieve from the catacombs. The book would feel too claustrophobic without him.

• March 12, 2020: The pandemic hit. Shelter in place began.

• March 17, 2020: All Your Twisted Secrets was released. Bookstores were closed and Amazon only shipped essential goods that week, not including books. This massively impacted my first-week hardcover sales. It still technically had the numbers to hit the New York Times bestseller list but was curated off. Despite this, AYTS went to a second printing within two weeks and earned out within three months, and ebook sales were high for a YA book. I’m so grateful to readers for this.

• April 2020: My first publisher officially declined to buy another book from me because “sales of All Your Twisted Secrets weren’t as high as we hoped.” They wanted a bestseller, I guess. Sorry a pandemic happened, I guess.

• April 2020: My agent took my new proposal for These Deadly Games out on submission. It sold two weeks later to Macmillan.

• 2021: Penguin Random House (PRH) signed me for Lying in the Deep.

• 2022: My editor at PRH bought Under the Surface! Hooray! I finally got to start drafting it in earnest, scrapping most of my NaNoWriMo draft.

• 2023: I rewrote the book twice more during developmental edits. Whew.

• August 13, 2024: Under the Surface released!

Writing and publishing this book was one hell of a journey. But I’m so excited it’s finally out in the world, and I’m so proud it was an instant indie bestseller, selected for the Indie Next List and Junior Library Guild, and an Amazon best book of 2024. 🥹 If you’d like a copy, here’s where you can get one—the hardcover, ebook, and audiobook are out now, and the paperback comes out 5.27.25!

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Shop Indie

When soliciting questions for my last AMA from my lovely subscribers, this one came in:

What is the best and worst part of being an author? (Especially being a writer for a living)

My answer wound up being ridiculously long, so instead of including it in the AMA, I promised to answer it in a separate post. Here it is!

Like any other career path, being a traditionally published author has its ups and downs. Before I wrote full-time, I worked in marketing at tech startups, and one major difference for me now is that the roller coaster feels way more intense. Maybe it’s because writing each book is such a big time investment, or because a slice of my soul gets injected into each one. Either way, it feels like more is at stake, with the potential to climb so much higher but also to fall so much farther.

I struggled to pick any singular “best” or “worst” thing, so I’ve listed what I’d consider the five highest highs and the five lowest lows. This isn’t a comprehensive list of all the pros and cons, though—honestly, that could be its own book.

Let’s start with the positives, shall we?

Some of the BEST things about being an author

1. Getting to write fiction as my JOB

On dedicated writing days, it feels like I’m getting paid to daydream full-time. I’ve always had a vivid imagination—whenever I’m falling asleep, riding in a car or on public transport, or taking a shower, my brain will concoct the most intricate stories, some spanning years.1 Now I make a living from doing that. That’s wild.

I love revising even more than drafting. Pulling words out of nowhere can feel like a slog at times, but molding the words I’ve already written and watching the story take shape—with fully realized character arcs, twists, and mysteries—is such a gratifying feeling. I can spend 10 to 12 hours revising and not even realize time has passed.2

2. Hearing from excited readers

There are lots of reasons to want to write books, but entertaining people tops my list. So when I hear that something I wrote brought someone joy and gave them a reprieve from the stress of day-to-day life, that’s my drug. Especially when they tell me they couldn’t put the book down and read it in one sitting, or when they react to specific characters and events in the book. It’s so surreal—I remember scribbling notes about those characters and typing those scenes right there at my desk, and now, somewhere out there in the world, someone’s having an emotional reaction to it. How cool is that?!

It gets even more surreal when I reply to someone, and they write back, “OMG I can’t believe you replied!!” Meanwhile, there I am, rotting on the couch with Tostitos crumbs all over my sweater. That part makes me giggle.3

I also love meeting readers IRL. It’s surreal (I keep using that word, but it’s true!) to sign books for people and have them want to take a photo with me, and to know they took time out of their busy lives to come see me. Someone once came to one of my launch events dressed as one of my characters. That was so cool I nearly passed out on the spot!

3. Getting good news

The peaks of publishing’s roller coaster are few and far between, but they shoot you to the stratosphere. Like when my literary agent offered representation, or when a publisher offers to buy one of my books, going to auction, getting a new foreign rights deal, selling a TV option, or finding out Under the Surface was selected for the Indie Next List and Junior Library Guild. Incredible moments.

The moment I’ll never get over was when an email from R.L. Stine popped into my inbox with a blurb for my debut novel, All Your Twisted Secrets. It’s a locked-room thriller about six teens who must pick one of them to kill, or they’ll all die, and he said: “Talk about frightening page-turners! I kept reading chapter after chapter. I had to know what happens next! And trust me—the scares just keep on coming!”

I remember reading Night of the Living Dummy in a tent in my backyard when I was eight years old. As a teen, I read every book in the Fear Street series, often multiple times. And now, here was the genius himself in my inbox, having loved a book I wrote. I remember exactly where I was sitting at work when I read the email, and how I started laughing because I didn’t know what else to do with my body. I like to think about that moment during tough times.

By the way, for a limited time All Your Twisted Secrets is on Kindle Unlimited!

4. Getting to befriend fellow authors

This part is wild. Whether we hang out IRL or chat every day on Gchat, WhatsApp, or Discord, these friendships mean the world to me. I’m humbled by how brilliant my friends are, and incredibly honored they want to be friends with ME. 🥹

It’s also really funny going to a bookstore with my husband, pointing to a book, and saying, “Oh, yeah, we were just talking about XYZ thing yesterday,” and he’s like, “WHAT IN THE WORLD?”

5. Flexible schedule

I’ll admit, I miss some things about having an office job, especially seeing my work friends every weekday. But sometimes my body gets up to its chronic shenanigans, and it’s unpredictable. My last two jobs were flexible and my tasks were possible to perform remotely, but you know how it is—if a pain day comes on a day stacked with meetings, it’s rough having to make the call between rescheduling everything and just… bearing it. Maybe that’s an easy choice for some folks! But I’m a chronic people pleaser with a guilt complex, so.

Now, I don’t have to worry about any of that. I own my schedule, and can work from home—even in bed—whenever I need to without feeling like I have to ask for anyone’s permission. And if I’m feeling really unwell, I can swap a weekday for a weekend day, or raise my word count goals the following week to make up for it. This peace of mind will be the hardest thing to give up if I have to get an office job again.

Some of the WORST things about being an author

I’m going to be so real right now: I’ve spilled way too much tea in this section. I wish I knew this stuff before I started publishing, but at the same time, it’s hard to speak on it publicly.

For one thing, I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I know how lucky I am to have made it this far. But every stage of an author’s journey presents different challenges, and the goal posts are always moving. For another, I HAVE SIMPLY SAID TOO MUCH. This edges on stuff I should keep in the group chat. If I post this publicly, I’ll have to simply diminish and go into the west.

But I do want to be honest without sugarcoating anything, so I’ve decided to get into the nitty gritty in a section exclusively for my VIP subscribers. This way, we can chat openly and honestly in our small community… without me needing to hitch a boat to Valinor. 🤓

Here’s what I’ll dive into:

1. Lack of control or meritocracy

2. Instability and uncertainty

3. There’s always a new way to get rejected

4. Comparisonitis

5. Trolls, trolls, everywhere…

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